


My Thoughts on You

by sea_bear



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, Smut, kink exploration and all that jazz, slight BDSM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26226241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sea_bear/pseuds/sea_bear
Summary: Joohyun's suddenly curious, and Seulgi's all too willing to help her satisfy that curiosity.orJoohyun and Seulgi help each other explore their sexualities
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 246





	1. i was thinking about us

**Author's Note:**

> just an excuse to practice writing smut ngl

Joohyun doesn’t actually notice a change until Sooyoung points it out to her. They’re sharing a waiting room with another group, everyone huddled around in various clusters as they wait for their call time. It’s not an uncommon occurrence but it does make things a little more crowded than usual. Still, at least they’re friends who don’t mind that Joohyun would rather get a few minutes of precious sleep than play catch up. Sooyoung, however, doesn’t seem to get the memo, sidling up to Joohyun on one of the couches to rouse her awake even as Joohyun makes a show of keeping her eyes shut. 

“Unnie,” she whines. “Unnie, unnie, unnie!” she repeats, poking at Joohyun until Joohyun is forced to acknowledge her. 

“What?” Joohyun gripes, pinning Sooyoung with a glare to showcase her annoyance. She was so close to hitting that all important REM cycle, Joohyun could almost taste it. 

Undeterred, Sooyoung leans in close, voice lower than a whisper as her eyes flit between Joohyun’s and a spot across the room. “Have you noticed how close Seulgi unnie and Jisoo unnie are?” 

Joohyun rolls her eyes, considers slapping Sooyoung for good measure because what the hell kind of question was that and why did it constitute waking Joohyun up for it? 

“Seriously? Sooyoung, I was _sleeping_.”

Sooyoung huffs, impatient, and shakes Joohyun’s arm. She gives Joohyun a look as if to say ‘screw your sleep’ and Joohyun really does slap her in response. 

“Hear me out!” Sooyoung yells then snaps her mouth shut, looking around to make sure no one is paying attention to them after her sudden outburst. Joohyun looks around, too, on instinct, and that’s when she notices what Sooyoung was talking about.

On the other side of the room, Seulgi and Jisoo are pressed together a little too closely to be considered entirely friendly. Their heads are bent towards each other, Jisoo’s hand trailing up and down the bare skin of Seulgi’s arm as Seulgi whispers something into her ear. Joohyun can’t tell from this angle but it looks like Seulgi has fingertips placed low on Jisoo’s waist, an interesting fact because Seulgi doesn’t normally look so _chummy_ with people to the point of dangerous hand placement. 

“Do you understand now?” Sooyoung questions, following Joohyun’s line of sight. 

But Joohyun only sighs, turning away from whatever’s going on over there. It’s none of Joohyun’s business who Seulgi decides to befriend, and it’s especially not her business to dictate how she interacts with said friends either. 

“They’re friends,” Joohyun shrugs. “Let them be.” 

Sooyoung frowns. “But they’re _close_ close,” she emphasizes. “Aren’t you curious?” 

She is but Sooyoung doesn’t need to know that. Besides, Joohyun’s far too tired to entertain this kind of conversation at the moment. 

“I’m too tired to be curious, Sooyoung. Now will you drop it so I can sleep?” she asks, shooting Sooyoung a hard look that says it’s not really a question so much as it’s a demand. Thankfully, Sooyoung gets the hint, lifting off the couch to talk to Chaeyoung and Yerim in the corner with nothing more than a disgruntled sigh. 

Joohyun chances one more look to Seulgi and Jisoo just in time to see them both glance around hesitantly before leaving; Jisoo first with barely a look over her shoulder followed by Seulgi not long after, who meets Joohyun’s eyes before quickly darting away. Joohyun watches the door shut firmly behind them, concerned but not enough to chase after them. As long as they’re back before their performance, Joohyun doesn’t care where they disappeared off to. 

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t think about it anyway, Sooyoung’s words rolling around in her mind to the point that any hope of sleep is gone. When Seulgi comes back her cheeks are flushed and her hair is mussed in a way that couldn’t be intentional. As their hairstylist clucks her tongue at her, flitting about her with a comb, Joohyun dutifully ignores how Seulgi fixes the buttons on her shirt that have mysteriously become out of place. 

When Jisoo sneaks in moments later in a similar state of disarray, well, Joohyun dutifully ignores that too.

\---

The thing is that now Joohyun has noticed she can’t stop noticing. It’s in her nature to be observant, after all. But what’s most curious is that these kinds of interactions aren’t limited to just Jisoo. In fact, Joohyun would wager a guess that it happens with almost every female celebrity outside of their group. At least with the ones Seulgi calls friends. 

First there was the Jisoo incident (which Joohyun has actively tried not to think about since). Then there was a mysterious disappearance backstage at an awards show with Chungha, the two only reappearing minutes before it was time for all the artists to gather onstage for the ending ment. This was followed by Joohyun catching Sunmi pull Seulgi aside and into a bathroom after hours of the two of them making eyes at each other from across the room at an event. 

Eventually, Joohyun becomes less concerned by the fact that these occurrences are happening and more preoccupied by the _frequency_ with which they are happening. Honestly, just how many girls could one person have? 

Nevermind the fact that Seulgi never even mentioned she liked girls to begin with. If Joohyun spent more time thinking of that she’d be offended that Seulgi never said anything. They were supposed to be friends, dammit, but whatever. That’s not even the point. The point is that Seulgi keeps disappearing for secret trysts with other female celebrities, and Joohyun’s only just now noticed. 

So now not only does Joohyun have to worry about the fact that Seulgi has decided to make very public broadcasting stations her personal sex playground, but now she has to wonder just how long it’s been going on in the first place so she can attempt to do damage control if need be. 

It’s why Joohyun eventually corners Seulgi in the middle of their dorm, when the other three are out, and they’re in a rare moment alone. Seulgi usually likes to disappear to wherever it is she goes off to on their days off (probably to sleep with one of the many girls in her harem but Joohyun decidedly ignores that thought), but today she’s stayed home. At her suggestion they’d put on a movie—some cheesy romcom Joohyun really didn’t care for—and settled on the couch together armed with soju and popcorn. It might be the fact that Joohyun’s on her second bottle of soju or it might be that Seulgi’s been ignoring both her and the movie for her phone for the last twenty minutes, either way Joohyun decides now is as good a time as any to bring it up. 

“So which girl is that?” she asks, going for casual but missing the mark entirely and straying into what only could be described as thinly veiled jealousy. 

Not that Seulgi even notices. “Hmm?” 

Joohyun rolls her eyes, making a show of shutting the TV off. The sudden silence has Seulgi finally raising her head from her phone, eyeing the now blank TV and Joohyun curiously. “If you’re not going to pay attention there’s no point in watching,” Joohyun answers her silent question. 

Seulgi, at least, looks apologetic, setting her phone aside in appeasement. “Sorry, unnie. Byulyi unnie was just asking me something.”

“Byulyi?” Joohyun asks, brows pinching together. “I thought her and Yongsun were together?”

Seulgi tilts her head, confused. “They are. What does that have to do with her texting me?”

“But aren’t you—” Joohyun cuts her off, suddenly second guessing herself. Seulgi just keeps looking at her, the picture of patience. It makes Joohyun annoyed for reasons she can’t explain. “Just be careful, okay? You’re being too obvious these days; at least try to be discreet.”

Seulgi narrows her eyes, turning to face Joohyun more fully. “Obvious? Obvious about what? What are you talking about?” 

Joohyun rolls her eyes, gestures limply in Seulgi’s direction as if that should be answer enough. “Look, you don’t have to explain it to me if you don’t want to, I’m just asking for a bit more caution. If you get caught, it reflects badly on all of us.”

“Unnie,” Seulgi says seriously, voice beginning to strain in the way it does when she’s trying to keep her emotions in check. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Joohyun shoots her a look. “Don’t play coy, Seulgi. It doesn’t suit you.” 

Seulgi makes a sound halfway between a snort and an indignant squawk. “I’m not playing coy!” She breathes deeply to gather herself; Joohyun almost smirks at the sight of it. “Unnie, could you please just tell me what it is you’re talking about? I really have no idea.” 

“Your _girls_ , Seulgi,” Joohyun finally answers. She polishes off the last of the soju in her bottle cleanly, appreciating the burn of the alcohol as it slides down her throat. It leaves a pleasant buzz in its wake and it’s that thought that makes Joohyun wonder if she really should have started this conversation now. Oh well, she thinks, too late. 

“My girls?” Seulgi leans back, clearly not expecting that answer. “What girls?”

Joohyun twirls a hand in the air. “You know, your _girls_. The ones you keep disappearing off with backstage to fuck?” Joohyun’s not usually one to be so crass, but Seulgi’s play at ignorance is starting to get on her nerves a little. That, and the alcohol. 

“ _What_?!” 

Joohyun ignores the outburst, wondering instead about the merits of opening another bottle, but Seulgi grasps at her arm, forcing Joohyun’s attention back onto her. 

“Unnie, what the hell are you talking about?” Seulgi’s also not one to curse, so Joohyun usually finds it amusing when she does. It’s almost never intentionally and always under the influence of alcohol. Joohyun looks to where another two bottles of soju lay on Seulgi’s side of the table and realizes Seulgi probably shouldn’t be having this conversation right now either. 

“Seulgi,” Joohyun says patiently, looking directly into Seulgi’s eyes for the first time. “You don’t have to hide it okay? You haven’t really been anyway if we’re being honest, but you don’t have to play dumb. I really don’t care what girls you sleep with, I’m just asking you to be more cautious for our sake. It’s not just you on the line if you get caught, you know?”

At that Seulgi’s eyes soften, the previous tension in her body releasing. 

“I have been pretty obvious, huh?” she says, smirking slightly as she does. “I’m sorry; I’ll be more careful from now on.” 

She didn’t deny it, which Joohyun finds interesting, but now Joohyun just has a plethora of other questions burning at the tip of her tongue. Before she can ask any of them, though, Seulgi speaks up again. 

“You really don’t care?” she asks, voice surprisingly quiet considering how loud they were just being. “About me?”

Joohyun levels her with a harsh stare. “Of course not. Why would I? You’re still you.” She means that, too. Seulgi will always be Seulgi regardless of what gender she’s apparently into now. If Joohyun was really being honest she’d say she wasn’t surprised, but that doesn’t seem like the appropriate response, all things considering. 

Seulgi smiles gratefully, pulling Joohyun into a hug in a rare display of affection. “Thanks, unnie. You’re the best.” 

Joohyun wraps her arms around her, appreciating the warmth of Seulgi’s body against her own. “No problem.”

Joohyun thinks that’s going to be the end of the conversation, reaching for an unopened bottle as well as the remote so they can get back to their movie, but then Seulgi decides to drop another bomb on her, casually and with no respect for Joohyun’s mental state. 

“Oh, and I’m not having sex with them.” Seulgi purses her lips for a moment. She adds, almost like an afterthought, “At least, not _all_ of them.”

Joohyun drops the soju bottle.

\---

The problem now isn’t Seulgi’s lack of discretion, but rather, Joohyun’s sudden intense curiosity. Joohyun’s not exactly inexperienced. She’s gone through her fair share of men, and none of them were worthwhile enough to even mention much less think about at night when she really needed to, but she’s also never really stopped to consider that there might be an alternative. 

Really, Joohyun should have seen this one coming. 

When she reflects on it, everything suddenly makes sense in picture perfect clarity. Perhaps the reason she found men so unappealing most of the time had less to do with them and more to do with the fact that she might have a preference for women instead. That is, of course, quite the assumption to suddenly make after only a few hours of aggressive contemplation in the late hours of night. Joohyun doesn’t have any experience as far as women are concerned, but she does know that she likes to look at them. She also likes feeling how soft their skin is when she touches them, or appreciating how good they smell when they walk by, and she catches whiffs of their perfume. There’s also the matter of being a little too fond of looking at and touching certain parts of the female anatomy (read: boobs and butts). 

Then there’s also the fact that all the girls Joohyun’s really, really, _really_ admired in her life had less to do with wanting to be like them and more to do with wanting to _be on them_.

All of that is pretty damning evidence in hindsight. 

So now Joohyun’s curious. 

Very curious. 

This isn’t a problem, per se. The problem lies in that not only is Joohyun curious about herself, she is now extremely curious about Seulgi as well. That also doesn’t really come as a surprise if Joohyun’s being honest with herself (and she’s doing a lot of that recently) because Joohyun’s always had—what she’s only just now realizing is—a crush on Seulgi anyway. 

Seulgi who Joohyun likes to stare intently at for no reason at all. 

Seulgi whose lips Joohyun looks at every time she speaks. 

Seulgi who Joohyun thinks about more often than she doesn’t. 

Seulgi who is the only person Joohyun knows who’s like her. 

Again, all pretty damning evidence in hindsight. 

That is just problem number one though. 

Problem number two is that Seulgi has noticed Joohyun’s newfound curiosity. Which is also not exactly surprising considering Joohyun’s complete lack of subtlety. Really, Joohyun had no business warning Seulgi about her throwing caution to the wind when Joohyun is doing the exact same. Not that Seulgi seems to mind. If anything, Seulgi seems to be reveling in it. 

The little shit, Joohyun thinks idly one day—a little more aggressive than usual but she can’t help it. Not when Seulgi catches Joohyun’s lingering stare in the practice room mirror as she ties her hair, tilting her head back and wiping at the sweat of her neck unnecessarily slowly for good measure. Joohyun squirms and Seulgi smirks and Joohyun wants to hit her almost as much as she wants to kiss her. 

This isn’t an isolated incident, of course. Seulgi’s confidence in her identity has made her bolder, suddenly willing to stare back when she notices Joohyun looking, teasing mercilessly when before she would have retreated with a laugh. And maybe Joohyun likes this new side of Seulgi, maybe Joohyun can almost appreciate that Seulgi’s suddenly got a hoard of girls at her beck and call if only because it’s brought out a new side of Seulgi that Joohyun’s never seen before. 

The keyword being almost because every time Joohyun catches Seulgi sneaking off with someone—more rare and less obvious now—she finds her nails digging into her palms and her temper suddenly short. 

It’s not _jealousy_ , but it’s dangerously close to it. Joohyun just likes to think herself a little possessive, and if you wanted to measure ownership by how many years you’ve spent with something, shouldn’t Seulgi clearly be hers by now? But that’s unhealthy thinking. Seulgi doesn’t belong to anybody but herself, least of all Joohyun. Joohyun’s just...frustrated for lack of a better word. Because she wants Seulgi so badly she doesn’t know what else to do about it other than pine and throw useless pleading stares until Seulgi gets the hint and does something about it. 

Naturally, that never happens so Joohyun is forced to take matters into her own hands as usual.

So she grows bolder. 

Unnecessary touches that have Seulgi sucking in a breath or whipping around sharply to glare at her. Fingertips trailing across the back of Seulgi’s waist when Joohyun walks by. A squeeze to Seulgi’s shoulder, her thumb pressed into the skin of Seulgi’s neck. Nails scratching up and down, up and down against Seulgi’s forearm when they walk with their arms linked. 

Seulgi always reacts, just never in the way Joohyun wants her to. Seulgi always did have an unwavering sense of self-control that was perfect in the best of times and incredibly annoying in the worst of times. 

Now is the worst of times.

So on one particular night, when they’re alone in the dorms again, watching another one of those god awful romcoms, Joohyun rests her side heavily against Seulgi’s and plans to make her move. Seulgi says nothing about it, welcomes it even if the way she shifts towards Joohyun is any indication. Emboldened, Joohyun places a hand on Seulgi’s thigh. She’s in shorts and Joohyun likes how soft and smooth her skin feels. She’s barely even aware of it when she begins to slide higher and higher—

Seulgi grabs her wrist, stopping the dangerous path Joohyun was making up her thigh.

Seulgi gives her a dark look, leaning forward dangerously like a predator would its prey. It makes Joohyun shiver pleasantly. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

Joohyun narrows her eyes at her, squeezing Seulgi’s thigh intentionally. “I’m pretty sure I do.” 

Seulgi sighs then, letting Joohyun’s wrist go, though Joohyun makes no effort to remove it from its place. When she speaks, it feels the exact right amount of deprecating to make Joohyun burn with childish rebellion. 

“Look, this isn’t a good idea, okay? Let’s just go back to the movie and forget this happened.”

Joohyun is known to be overly competitive and right now feels a lot like she’s losing. That really just won’t do. 

She squeezes Seulgi’s thigh again, deeper and higher up just to get the point across. Seulgi inhales sharply. Hook, line, and sinker. 

“Why not?” She asks petulantly. Seulgi opens her mouth to speak, but Joohyun’s got her head tilted down, eyes fluttering up in a way she knows is both innocently attractive and seductively appealing. When she bites at her lip, Seulgi’s eyes darken. “Don’t you want me?”

Seulgi groans and Joohyun knows she’s got her. She mutters, “When did you even like girls anyway?” or something similar to that effect before suddenly she’s on Joohyun. 

Joohyun’s never kissed a girl before so she has nothing to compare it to, but it’s certainly different than kissing a man. The softness was to be expected—Joohyun’s spent an indeterminate amount of time wondering about Seulgi’s lips to not expect it—but the _taste_. Now that was something else. Seulgi tastes like the soju they were drinking mixed with something else. Something Joohyun can’t pinpoint for all her obsession with olfactory senses and delicious flavors. It’s got to be just something uniquely Seulgi, Joohyun decides, and it’s addicting to the point that Joohyun can’t help but lick into her. 

Seulgi moans, something else that is addicting about her. Joohyun didn’t expect Seulgi to be noisy, but, then again, she also didn’t expect Seulgi to be the kind of person to already have her hand up Joohyun’s shirt, kneading softly at the swell of Joohyun’s breast either. So maybe Joohyun doesn’t have Seulgi as pinned down as she always thought she did. 

“We should— _ah_ ,” Seulgi cuts off into another moan as Joohyun moves to her neck. Joohyun may not have experience with a girl, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have any experience at all. And it seems, regardless of gender, all bodies will react in similar ways if you know what to do with them. Joohyun certainly knows what to do with them if Seulgi’s labored breathing is anything to go off of. Finally, Seulgi tugs at Joohyun’s hair, pulling her up to press more unhurried kisses to her lips. In between, she manages to get out, “We should….to bed….we should….” 

Right because doing this in the living room probably isn’t a good idea. 

Reluctantly, Joohyun stands. She does it swiftly to the point that Seulgi looks confused when she chases after Joohyun but only meets air. Her eyes are hooded when they look up at Joohyun, lips kiss swollen and so, so appetizing, and Joohyun feels something stir in her heart that doesn’t feel anything like the lust from earlier. She doesn’t have time to linger on that, though, when Seulgi stands too, hands gentle as they reach for Joohyun’s face even as her tongue moves with desperate eagerness into Joohyun’s mouth. 

Seulgi kisses like a dream. 

Their path to Joohyun’s room is a long journey, made even more difficult by the fact that Joohyun is reluctant to part from Seulgi for even a second. Seulgi shares the sentiment, sucking at Joohyun’s neck in a way Joohyun will probably regret in the morning as she walks Joohyun backwards. They almost run into a table, actually do run into a wall, but they don’t care because Seulgi’s biting at Joohyun’s collarbone and Joohyun’s scratching at Seulgi’s scalp and _fuck_ Joohyun really wishes she realized she liked girls sooner because this is already so much better than she’s ever had before. 

They finally make it to Joohyun’s room—Joohyun only just remembering to kick the door shut behind them—and Joohyun doesn’t waste any time in pushing Seulgi down onto the bed. Seulgi leans back onto her arms, a slight smirk on her face as she waits for what Joohyun’s going to do next. 

Except, Joohyun doesn’t actually know what to do next. 

The journey here felt long, too long even, but now, standing in front of Seulgi—ready and waiting—Joohyun suddenly feels unsure. As if sensing her hesitation, Seulgi’s smirk turns into a gentle smile. 

“Come here,” Seulgi says softly, beckoning Joohyun forward with a finger hooked onto Joohyun’s belt loop. Joohyun goes willingly until she’s got a knee on either side of Seulgi’s thighs. Seulgi’s at eye level with Joohyun’s chest like this and she nuzzles her face there. Joohyun’s inhale is shaky even as Seulgi looks up at her with a look that’s far too innocent for their current position. “Why don’t you go first?” she says, mouthing along Joohyun’s collarbones gently in a contradiction to her earlier aggression.

Joohyun can only manage a nod, but Seulgi somehow understands anyway, hands growing bolder as they move underneath Joohyun’s shirt and rake along the skin of Joohyun’s back. She pulls Joohyun further down so she can lick up Joohyun’s neck. Joohyun tilts her head back in a quiet moan as Seulgi reaches her ear. 

“Can I take this off?” she asks, tugging at Joohyun’s shirt. Joohyun doesn’t have to say yes, just lifts her arms in acquiescence so Seulgi can push it up and over her head. She shivers immediately, both from the sudden cold air and the feeling of Seulgi’s fingers moving purposefully across her stomach and around her sides, up her back until they reach the hook of her bra. “And this?”

Joohyun nods again, but Seulgi leans back to look at her. “I need to hear you say it.” Her eyes turn suddenly bashful, then, like she isn’t almost about to have Joohyun naked from the waist up, on top of her. “It’s just better for me, if I can hear you say it.”

“Yes, Seulgi,” Joohyun teases, feeling brave at the sight of a familiar, shy Seulgi. “You have permission to take my bra off.” 

“No need to be snarky; consent is important,” she pouts even as she removes Joohyun’s bra. Her eyes light up at the sight of Joohyun’s breasts and then her mouth is on her, lips wrapping around a nipple so brazenly, Joohyun loses all train of thought completely.

Seulgi is very skilled in the tongue department, Joohyun is learning. She clutches at the back of Seulgi’s head, arching forward to hold Seulgi more firmly against her. If this already feels like too much, Joohyun can’t imagine what it will be like when Seulgi’s actually touching her where she wants her to. That thought sparks a fresh wave of arousal to shoot through her, and she can’t help the gasp that escapes her when she feels Seulgi bite lightly at her nipple. 

Steadily, Seulgi moves them so that Joohyun’s lying flat on the bed, Seulgi hovering above her. 

“You’re so pretty,” Seulgi says and Joohyun pulls her in for another kiss, not being able to resist the way Seulgi looks like she wants to devour Joohyun whole. She coaxes Joohyun’s tongue out, sucking on it in a way Joohyun didn’t think people actually did but can definitely appreciate. Her kisses are always so unhurried, so deep, it feels meaningful. It makes Joohyun’s chest ache for reasons she can hardly think about so she pulls away wetly, Seulgi immediately trailing hot lips across her cheeks, down her neck. She keeps moving, kissing every part of Joohyun’s body that she finds. 

When she finally makes it down to Joohyun’s stomach, after spending an inordinate amount of time lavishing a rigid nipple with her tongue, Joohyun’s practically writhing with barely contained pleasure. Seulgi stops next to her bellybutton, a cheek resting on Joohyun’s stomach. She fiddles with the waistband of Joohyun’s jeans, thumb hovering over the button there, breath hot against her. “I’m going to take this off, okay?” 

Joohyun nods again, but Seulgi looks up at her, eyebrow quirked. Joohyun wants to roll her eyes, but Seulgi’s apparently a stickler for her rules. With some difficulty, Joohyun rasps out an, “Okay.” 

With no trepidation at all, Seulgi works Joohyun’s jeans open, pulling them down easily and trailing kisses along Joohyun’s legs as she goes. Joohyun feels her breath leave her, her heart hammering in her chest. She stares up at her ceiling, acutely aware of Seulgi nosing along her shin back up towards her knee. 

“You’re so beautiful, unnie,” Seulgi says right before she sucks a bruising kiss to Joohyun’s inner thigh. Joohyun moans again, resisting the urge to clamp her legs shut. 

When Joohyun looks down, Seulgi’s right above her where Joohyun needs her most. The sight makes her moan out loud, Seulgi grinning even as she leans down to press an open mouthed kiss right over Joohyun’s underwear. Joohyun throws an arm over her eyes, hips rising desperately to meet her. 

“You smell so good,” Seulgi whispers, mouthing along wet lace. 

_God_. 

Seulgi taps at Joohyun’s hips to get her attention, but Joohyun needs a minute. Truthfully, she already feels embarrassingly close and Seulgi’s not even finished with her foreplay yet. Joohyun doesn’t know if she’ll survive the night at this rate. 

“Unnie,” she calls sweetly. “Unnie, unnie, unnie. Look at me, please?” 

Joohyun finally does. Seulgi’s got fingers hooked around the edges of Joohyun’s underwear, asking for permission. “Can I?” It’s practically a beg and who is Joohyun to deny her?

“Yes,” she answers, her voice strangled even to her own ears. 

Seulgi doesn’t waste any time, pulling Joohyun’s underwear down swiftly. Joohyun’s embarrassingly wet at this point, but she finds it hard to care when Seulgi’s looking at her like _that_. 

“You’re beautiful, unnie,” Seulgi whispers seriously, hooking one of Joohyun’s legs over her shoulder. Joohyun squeezes her eyes shut, unable to watch how Seulgi kisses down Joohyun’s inner thigh, so close to where Joohyun wants her but stopping just short. “What do you like?” she asks as Joohyun stifles a groan into her pillow. “My fingers? My mouth? I want you to tell me.” 

Joohyun shouldn’t be surprised; Seulgi’s always so willing, so helpful. She’s a people pleaser, through and through. Of course that would translate into bed. 

Seulgi bites at Joohyun’s thigh in a bid for attention. Joohyun finally opens her eyes, pitting a glare at her that holds almost no weight as Seulgi smiles innocently, scratching at Joohyun’s stomach with blunt nails. 

“Won’t you tell me?” she asks softly. “I want to make you feel good.” Her eyes are shining; there’s too much behind them for Joohyun to handle looking at. 

She tips her head back, answering to the ceiling because she might come right then and there if she keeps looking at Seulgi for too long. “Your mouth first, then fingers. Just two—” she breaks off into a gasp as Seulgi follows her instructions all too willingly, tongue licking hotly into her, but Joohyun’s not done yet and Seulgi was the one who wanted her to be verbal. “Just two— _ah_! B-because your fingers are longer than mine.”

Seulgi groans against her, deft fingers spreading Joohyun’s outer lips open so Seulgi can place her mouth against all of her. She laves her tongue against Joohyun’s sex, enjoying the wetness she’s found there. Joohyun thinks she might combust, the pressure already building and feeling like too much. Seulgi pulls away with a satisfied moan. 

“You taste so good,” she whispers hotly. “I knew you would. _God_ , unnie, you’re so wet,” she moans again, a finger running lightly through Joohyun’s folds. Joohyun wants to scream, but she feels like there’s nothing left in her lungs to give. Seulgi grabs Joohyun’s hand, guiding it to lay flat on Seulgi’s head. “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

Joohyun barely has time to nod when Seulgi suddenly slips a finger inside her. Joohyun feels herself arch forward, hips snapping up erratically. Seulgi holds her down with a soothing hand, but it might as well have been for nothing because a second later, Seulgi’s leaning down again, lips wrapped around Joohyun’s clit as she sucks. Joohyun does scream, then. 

She never knew she was capable of a sound like that, can hardly believe it’s something that even came out of her own mouth, but Seulgi won’t ease up, finger pumping in and out steadily even as Joohyun scratches at her scalp desperately, torn between holding Seulgi closer or pushing her away. It’s both too much and not enough. When Seulgi slips another finger inside, Joohyun knows she’s done for. She was already achingly close before, but the feeling of Seulgi inside her, on top of her, against her, it’s all too much. 

Seulgi’s too much. 

It’s the strongest orgasm Joohyun’s ever had; that’s for sure. 

She feels the waves of pleasure crash over her, stealing any last breath she had as she arches up and stills. Seulgi holds her hips down, fingers steady as they move in and out, never easing up even as Joohyun clamps down onto them. Her heart thumps wildly, her ears feel like they’re ringing. Joohyun’s never known pleasure like this before, never thought this kind of feeling was even possible really. She feels close to bursting, a bow with its string pulled taut. 

Through all of it, Seulgi keeps moving. In and out. In and out. Joohyun has half a mind to push her away, when Seulgi rises, sliding up Joohyun’s body to kiss her. Joohyun’s only ever tasted herself from her own fingers once, when she’d made herself come late at night and got curious enough to wonder at her own taste, but it’s something else entirely to taste herself on someone else’s lips. It’s something else entirely to taste herself on _Seulgi’s_ lips. 

When Seulgi thumbs at her clit, Joohyun shudders. She puts a hand to Seulgi’s wrist to stop her, but Seulgi pulls away to lean her forehead against Joohyun’s, eyes closed. 

“One more?” she asks, lips ghosting along Joohyun’s cheek. “Please? Just one more, unnie? You’re so pretty when you come. _Please_.” 

And how can Joohyun say no to that? She’s just barely breathed out a ‘yes’ when Seulgi’s back on her again. Fingers pistoning in and out with increased vigor as she kisses the gasp away from Joohyun’s lips. She sucks Joohyun’s tongue harshly into her mouth, thumb rubbing eagerly against Joohyun’s clit. 

Joohyun comes again quickly, the pressure building so fast she doesn’t even notice. She just feels her body suddenly tense, clawing at Seulgi’s back as Seulgi presses her lips deeper to Joohyun’s, stealing the scream she would have otherwise let out.

It’s a long moment before Joohyun relaxes again. Seulgi’s ever present, helping Joohyun ride through her orgasm, fingers still as Joohyun clenches and unclenches, continuously rubbing at Joohyun’s clit until Joohyun grabs weakly at her wrist to stop her. Finally, she finishes and Joohyun’s whole body sags in both exhaustion and relief. 

Joohyun can’t say she’s ever felt sated like this. She knew Seulgi wouldn’t disappoint; Seulgi’s much too good for that. As capable of a lover as Seulgi is, it’s no wonder she’s got so many girls wrapped around her finger. The thought triggers a brief bout of possessiveness that has Joohyun pulling Seulgi closer to her, reveling in the feel of Seulgi’s body pressed tightly on top of her. 

It’s only then that Joohyun realizes. 

“You’re still fully dressed,” Joohyun comments, tugging at Seulgi’s shirt insistently. 

Seulgi leans back, resting her elbows on either side of Joohyun’s head. She looks down at herself in her t-shirt and shorts and huffs out a laugh. 

“I guess I am,” she answers. 

Joohyun frowns, pushing up weakly at Seulgi’s shirt. She wants to feel Seulgi’s skin against hers, but she’s also much too tired to put any more force behind it. 

Seulgi really did a number on her. 

“Off,” Joohyun demands, though it sounds less assertive and much more petulant. 

Seulgi laughs but complies, rearing back onto her knees so she can shuck her shirt off in one swift moment. Her shorts go next and in the brief moment it takes for her to take them off, Joohyun whines at the loss of warmth. 

“All of it,” Joohyun requests when it looks like Seulgi’s going to leave her bra and underwear on. Rolling her eyes, Seulgi does as instructed, returning quickly just as Joohyun starts making grabby hands for her. 

“You’re needy after you come,” Seulgi comments. Though she doesn’t seem to mind, nuzzling into the skin behind Joohyun’s ear with a pleased grunt. 

Joohyun just hums, eyes closed to the skin on skin contact she’s been waiting for. She slides a foot up Seulgi’s calf, digs her nails into Seulgi’s back, relishes in the feeling of defined abs pushing down onto her. Seulgi’s body is a work of art, and Joohyun is desperate to study every inch of it. 

She’s halfway asleep when she feels Seulgi shift above her. Joohyun passes it on as a one off thing, a simple readjustment probably, but then Seulgi moves again and again. Her face is buried somewhere in the pillow next to Joohyun’s ear, and Joohyun can hear the quiet, little grunts she’s letting out. When Joohyun feels the wetness against her thigh, she’s not surprised but she does feel guilty for having not realized sooner. 

“Can I?” Joohyun asks, hand trailing low against Seulgi’s stomach. 

Seulgi heaves in a shaky breath. “You don’t have to.” 

Joohyun clucks her tongue. “I want to.”

A beat. 

Seulgi finally nods. 

Joohyun pokes at her back, smirking. “I want to hear you say it.” 

She can practically hear Seulgi’s eye roll. “Yes, unnie. Please make me come.”

Joohyun laughs, but it’s only once the words register that she remembers she’s never done this before. Tentatively, Joohyun squeezes at Seulgi’s side until Seulgi hums in her ear. 

“You’ll have to tell me how,” Joohyun tells her, more than a little shy and embarrassed. 

Seulgi pulls back to look at her, but she doesn’t look offended or teasing. Instead she just knocks Joohyun’s head lightly with her own, smiling softly as she lays a sweet kiss to Joohyun’s lips. 

“Of course, unnie,” she answers, then guides Joohyun into a sitting position. 

With some maneuvering, she pulls Joohyun into her lap, kissing her languidly before pulling away. Seulgi grabs Joohyun’s hand, holding it up to her lips to kiss each finger and then her palm. Joohyun watches her do it, slack jawed and wide eyed at the open display of affection. Seulgi’s such an attentive lover in bed it’s hard to reconcile that with the girl who used to freeze whenever Joohyun would do so much as link arms. 

“Just like this, okay?” Seulgi says, then guides Joohyun’s hand down, down, down until she’s right above wet heat. Hesitantly, Joohyun presses against her, gasping at the wetness she finds there. 

“Seulgi…” 

Seulgi just smiles brightly. “That’s all because of you.” Her head falls forward to Joohyun’s shoulder at the first slide of Joohyun’s finger through her folds. “You catch on quick,” she laughs shakily. “Keep going; just like that.” 

At Seulgi’s gentle urging, Joohyun grows more confident. Her finger rubs against Seulgi’s clit, chasing the quiet noises Seulgi’s making so she can produce more of them. When she first slides into Seulgi’s opening, they both moan. Seulgi’s so hot and wet. It’s so easy to push in and out. 

“Another one,” Seulgi tells her, Joohyun obliging obediently. 

Seulgi takes her fingers well, and Joohyun is already addicted to the feel of her. 

“You feel so good,” Joohyun moans out, and Seulgi whines, clutching at Joohyun’s back. Curiously, Joohyun buries her fingers in Seulgi’s hair, her other hand still moving resolutely between her legs. “Seulgi,” she murmurs again, “you’re so good. You feel so good, I can’t wait for you to come.” 

Like clockwork, Seulgi tenses. Joohyun feels her clamp down on her fingers, the telltale sign that Seulgi’s orgasm is imminent. With one last push, and an eager thumb to Seulgi’s clit, Seulgi comes with a strangled cry, biting down onto Joohyun’s shoulder desperately. Joohyun coaxes her through it, recalling the things Seulgi did to her earlier and doing her best to follow them; Seulgi’s quiet sounds of pleasure indicating that she must be doing a good job. 

Finally, the last of Seulgi’s orgasm tapers off. Carefully, Joohyun slides out of her, Seulgi only letting out a slight whine in response. Interestedly, Joohyun brings her hand to her lips, Seulgi’s juices still on her fingers. Seulgi tastes sweet, but just like her lips, it’s a taste Joohyun can’t describe. She just knows it belongs only to Seulgi and that Joohyun will do anything to be able to taste it again. Swirling a tongue around her fingers, Joohyun sucks on them individually, eager to get all of it off, not wanting to waste any of it. It’s only when she feels slim fingers wrap themselves around her wrist, does Joohyun realize her eyes have fallen closed. When she opens them, Seulgi’s eyes are dark and hooded. 

“That’s not fair,” she pouts and it’s such a Seulgi thing to do—to somehow be both adorable and hot at the same time. 

“Sorry,” Joohyun laughs but kisses her again so Seulgi can have a taste too. 

They trade kisses for a long moment, until Joohyun feels herself slump against Seulgi tiredly, and the sweat on their bodies begins to disappear, the air no longer hot and thick around them. 

“Let’s go to bed, hmm?” Seulgi suggests, pushing Joohyun down onto the mattress. 

Joohyun lets her, too tired to do anything else. She helps Seulgi gather the blankets that had been pushed towards the end of the bed, opening up her arms in invitation just in case Seulgi gets any ideas about leaving. Seulgi falls into her willingly. 

“Good night,” she tells Joohyun with one last press to Joohyun’s lips. Joohyun hums in response. 

She falls asleep, dreaming of Seulgi’s kiss and the body wrapped artfully around her like a blanket.


	2. this is a love story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: there's a brief scene involving breath play at the end. nothing too extreme imo but it exists so exercise caution if that's something you might be sensitive to

Joohyun is _not_ a jealous person. She’s just maybe not fond of seeing Seulgi with people who aren’t her. But who can blame her? Now that Joohyun knows what it feels like to have Seulgi’s fingers inside her, what it feels like to writhe under the careful ministrations of Seulgi’s ever talented tongue. Well, forgive Joohyun for not wanting to share. 

She knows she doesn’t have the right to feel this way. She and Seulgi never actually discussed the nature of their relationship after that first time. It had felt like too much at the time so Joohyun had slipped quietly away in the morning and when she returned, Seulgi was nowhere to be found either. They hadn’t even talked about it, but Seulgi seemed normal when Joohyun did finally see her again and no one else had suspected that they’d just had their fingers inside each other so Joohyun figured it was fine. 

That was the first time, but now it’s been at least six times and Joohyun’s still not entirely sure where they stand. Especially when they’re backstage at a concert, and Seulgi suddenly disappears, leaving the waiting room with a furrowed brow as she stares down at her phone. She doesn’t even notice when Joohyun calls out to her, and maybe Joohyun’s more than a little pissed about it, but she says nothing. Just keeps her head down and her earphones on while feigning sleep so no one tries to bother her. 

Fine, Joohyun decides. If Seulgi’s going to be like that, so be it. Joohyun does _not_ care. 

Seulgi only returns moments before they’re set to go onstage, deftly throwing her phone into her bag as she smoothes down her hair. She checks herself in the mirror, quickly rubbing at a smudge in her lipstick, turning this way and that to inspect her makeup. When she’s done she meets Joohyun’s eye, ducking her head to the pointed glare Joohyun’s throwing her way, and says nothing even as she follows closely behind while they make their way to the stage. She’s so near Joohyun can practically feel Seulgi’s breath on the back of her neck, and Joohyun shudders unintentionally. She knows Seulgi can see it, but finds that it’s hard to care. Maybe she even revels in it a little bit. 

And if Joohyun lets Seulgi run a teasing finger along the dip in her spine while they're waiting, who can blame her? 

As long as it’s Joohyun’s bed Seulgi ends up in at the end of the day, does it really matter what else Seulgi gets up to during the day?

\---

It matters. 

\---

Joohyun has to applaud her patience. She doesn’t confront Seulgi about it right away. Instead she gives it a few days, ignoring Seulgi and letting herself be whisked off by other members and friends instead. Seulgi doesn’t notice immediately because of course she doesn’t. Joohyun’s not that surprised, Seulgi’s not always so aware of her surroundings when she doesn’t have to be. She’s always so on for shows and performances that when she’s finally free, she tends to shut off all the parts of her she deems unnecessary (read: most of her functioning brain cells). Joohyun used to applaud her for it, but now it’s mostly annoying since she’s intentionally trying to ignore the girl and would like for it to at least be acknowledged. 

It doesn't happen until one night, when the others suggest going out. It’s the perfect excuse for her and Seulgi to be alone and if this were last week, Joohyun would have jumped on it. Seulgi seems to be thinking so as well, already giving Joohyun a meaningful look from across the couch as she tells them no. Joohyun, to her credit, pretends not to notice it.

“Sure,” she agrees, surprising everyone since she’s not usually one to be so willing to go out, especially this late at night. 

“Really?” Seulgi asks, equal parts confused and shocked. 

Joohyun shrugs. “Yeah, why not. I need to get out more.” 

“Wow, look at you being cool for once,” Yerim jokes, nudging Joohyun playfully. Joohyun rolls her eyes at her but says nothing. 

“Great, let's head out then. The noribang waits for no one!" Sooyoung shouts, already a little tipsy from the beer she'd had with her dinner. Seungwan follows behind her closely, constantly muttering reminders to be quiet. 

Joohyun slips her shoes on carefully, slides into her coat slowly too, one arm at a time, conscious of the eyes burning into her back. When she leaves, she has to bite back a smirk, the door closing on the image of a put out Seulgi, frowning with a pinch between her brow as she watches Joohyun leave.

\---

Seulgi's not one for clinginess. Joohyun has known this from the beginning. It took months just for Seulgi to stop tensing every time Joohyun so much as looped her arm through hers. Even now, after more than a decade, Joohyun still catches Seulgi occasionally fighting off the instinct to freeze when Joohyun gets a little too close. Which is why it's more than a little surprising when Seulgi starts uncharacteristically latching onto Joohyun. 

Not that Joohyun minds, of course—she's never been one to shy away from wanted attention. That doesn't make it any less suspicious, though. Joohyun didn't think Seulgi would give in so quickly. After all, it's barely been a few days since Seulgi realized Joohyun was no longer indulging her. 

Truthfully, Joohyun forgot Seulgi could get competitive in her own way. 

See, whereas Joohyun was the type who wanted to win at all costs (going so far as to cheat her way through games if need be), Seulgi was more of a silent predator. Subtle in her tactics, Seulgi could be a formidable opponent if she deemed the prize worthy of the effort—which was a rarity in its own right. Seulgi much more preferred to sit back and watch the others battle it out than jump into the foray herself. It seems, however, Joohyun's been considered a worthy prize. 

The overt touching and sweet whispered compliments, Joohyun could take. It's nothing they haven't already partaken in before—even back when they were just platonic. (Though when Joohyun thinks back she's begun to realize many of their interactions could hardly be labeled as strictly friendly to begin with...but that's a tangent for another day.) Joohyun’s mostly immune to it by now, and she won’t lie, she does find enjoyment in the way Seulgi seems to be getting a little desperate for Joohyun’s attention. She stays strong, though, finding excuses to deny Seulgi what she wants, purposefully inviting the others with them so that they’re never alone, even going so far as to be more social lest she risk being home alone with Seulgi unnecessarily. 

Still, Seulgi crowding Joohyun into the sink while she's trying to do the dishes is something else entirely.

Joohyun inhales sharply, almost dropping a plate at the feeling of Seulgi pressed closely to her back, her breath hot against Joohyun's exposed ear. Hands find themselves on the counter on either side of Joohyun, trapping her there. 

"You're upset with me," Seulgi says lowly. 

Joohyun refuses to be bested by a surprise attack like this. In an attempt at indifference, she tries to carry on with her task. As she resumes scrubbing at the plate in her hands, she answers nonchalantly, "What makes you think that?" 

Seulgi drops her chin to Joohyun's shoulder. "You're ignoring me." 

Joohyun snorts, continuing her washing. "I am not. I literally just had dinner with you."

"You didn't look at me the entire time, and you barely even spoke."

"I was hungry."

Seulgi sighs, admonishing. "Unnie."

Annoyed, Joohyun places the last of the dishes in the dish rack with a heavy thud. She shuts the sink off with a quick snap of her wrist, but makes no effort to turn around. She rests her hands on the sink, leaning forward tiredly. Seulgi's hands move to Joohyun's waist, pulling her back and Joohyun let's it happen because whether she likes it or not she'll always be weak for Seulgi even if it's not the same for the younger girl. 

"What do you want me to say? It's not like I have any right to be upset," Joohyun tells her. It's the truth and it's annoying enough to make Joohyun feel all kinds of childish emotions. Bitterness and pettiness were never a good look on Joohyun.

In response, Seulgi rubs soothing circles on Joohyun's stomach, fingers moving methodically against the thin fabric of Joohyun's shirt. Against Joohyun's better judgement, she bites back a moan. 

"Even if you don't feel like you have the right, you're still allowed to feel the way you do," Seulgi says, breath hitting Joohyun's cheek. 

Joohyun turns her head away from the piercing gaze she knows is focused on the side of her face. 

"Fine then," Joohyun spits out between gritted teeth, "I'm upset with you. Are you happy now?" 

Seulgi stops her rubbing, but she squeezes Joohyun's side imploringly instead. "Why?" 

Joohyun rolls her eyes. "Really? You want to do this now?" 

Seulgi just taps her finger to Joohyun's side. "Yes. I'm not letting you leave until you answer me." 

Damn Seulgi and her constant willingness to engage in confrontation in the name of clearing the air. This is another trait of hers Joohyun used to admire but has now quickly decided is annoying once directed at her. 

Joohyun sighs, aware she's not getting out of this any time soon. The most she can hope for is that she walks away from this with at least some of her pride still in tact. Slumping defeatedly back into Seulgi's welcoming body, Joohyun tips her head back to rest against Seulgi's waiting shoulder. 

She really is the perfect height to hold Joohyun in. 

"I'm jealous okay?" Joohyun finally answers quietly. She speaks towards the kitchen wall, thankful Seulgi at least granted her the respite of not having to do this face to face. "I don't like that there are other girls. I don't like feeling like I'm sharing you with everyone else. I don't like that you seem not to care about any of it, but most of all, I'm just angry with myself for feeling like this in the first place. I knew what this was going into this, so I know I don't have the right to feel upset in the first place but I still am and it’s annoying." 

It feels good to get this all off her chest, as humiliating as it is. Joohyun half expects Seulgi to let her go now, apologize for even bringing it up in the first place or make some other half assed excuse to placate Joohyun. But if anything, Seulgi just seems to tighten her hold on Joohyun even further. 

"And what did you think this was?" Seulgi questions. 

Joohyun's brows scrunch together, curious at this line of questioning. Seulgi really can be so annoying in her persistent need for clarification. 

"A one time thing?" Joohyun answers truthfully. "Something casual?"

Seulgi lets out a disbelieving laugh. "You really felt that way? After everything?"

Joohyun quirks a brow though Seulgi can't see it. "Yes? What else was I supposed to think?" 

Even if Joohyun had been the first one to leave the morning after, Seulgi was the one who left and didn't come back. Then they never talked about it again until one night Joohyun had felt particularly needy and Seulgi had willingly let herself be dragged into Joohyun's bed. They never talked about what this was, and Joohyun was under the assumption that was because there was nothing _to_ talk about. Joohyun always initiated, Seulgi always left. Joohyun just figured that's how it would always be. 

"Unnie," Seulgi sighs, nuzzling against the spot where Joohyun's neck meets her shoulder. Joohyun closes her eyes to the feeling, confused as she is about what's happening. "It was never casual for me." 

Joohyun's eyes shoot open. "What?"

"It wasn't casual for me," Seulgi reiterates, pressing a smile to Joohyun's skin. "And there haven't been any other girls since you. How could I even think about anyone else when I had you?" 

Joohyun opens her mouth then closes it. This was... unexpected. Even in all the scenarios Joohyun had thought of, she hadn't imagined this. It never even crossed her mind to assume Seulgi might be in as deep as Joohyun is. 

"But I thought—and the other girls—you—"

Seulgi laughs again, lighter and happier, kissing softly at Joohyun's neck. "It's only you, unnie. The only person I want is you. No one else."

Joohyun would never admit the way her heart seems to do a full flip in her chest. That’s much too cliche for her to want to acknowledge, but she can’t deny how _good_ Seulgi’s words make her feel. There is something to be said about the emotions that accompany knowing the person you want seems to want you just as much. 

“This whole time…” Joohyun trails, feeling more than a little embarrassed at how she’s been acting. But it’s not like Seulgi made it any easier on her either. Joohyun slaps at Seulgi’s wrist, the one attached to the hand that’s beginning to wander. “Hey, why didn’t you say anything when you noticed I was upset to begin with?”

Seulgi hums. “I didn’t know why, and I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions if it wasn’t about me.”

Joohyun frowns. Curse Seulgi and her stupid thoughtfulness. It makes her want to do crazy things like kiss her or fuck her or both. Preferably both if the way Seulgi’s hands are growing bolder against her front is anything to go by. 

“You still could have said something,” Joohyun pouts, voice ticking up into a whine. “What else was I supposed to think when you kept disappearing off to god knows where all the time?”

Seulgi stops the hand that had been steadily snaking up Joohyun’s shirt. She presses her palm flush to the skin of Joohyun’s stomach as she kisses behind Joohyun’s ear in apology. “I’m sorry. I was just...tying up some loose ends. I didn’t mean to make you worry.” She bites lightly at Joohyun’s ear lobe; Joohyun can feel Seulgi’s smile when she hears Joohyun’s answering hiss. “I should have said something, I realize that now.” 

“We both should have said something,” Joohyun sighs, leaning her head back to give Seulgi more access. Her eyes close to the mouth licking down her neck, a moan on the cusp of escaping her when Seulgi finally moves up her stomach again, fingers just barely edging underneath Joohyun’s bra. Joohyun feels a pleasant spark shoot all the way down between her legs in anticipation.

“We’ll work on it,” Seulgi murmurs, but Joohyun can barely hear her, too focused on Seulgi’s other hand moving south, dipping just into the waistband of Joohyun’s pants. “Can I?” she asks pleadingly. 

Joohyun groans, just barely getting her wits about her enough to open her eyes to check the clock on the oven. "You'll have to be quick; the others will be home soon,” she warns.

Seulgi nods against her and then, without any preamble, slides her hand directly into wet heat, the both of them moaning simultaneously at the feeling. "I missed you," she sighs hotly into Joohyun's ear. 

Joohyun's mouth parts at the feeling of Seulgi's finger against her swollen clit, legs already threatening to give out on her. "It's barely been a week."

"A week too long," Seulgi says as her other hand pulls Joohyun's shirt aside so that it falls off Joohyun's shoulder. Quickly, her mouth latches onto the newly exposed skin, sucking a bruise there. 

"Seulgi," Joohyun moans, head lolling to the side.

“What do you need?” Seulgi asks, always so willing and attentive as she mouths at the new mark she left on Joohyun’s skin. Her finger is persistent on Joohyun’s clit and Joohyun finds purchase on the sink in front of her, grounding herself there with one of her hands as she doubles over in pleasure. Her other hand winds its way around Seulgi’s head, holding her in place just in case the younger girl had any thoughts about moving.

“Inside. _Please_ ,” Joohyun begs, too far gone now to be wary of just how needy she sounds. 

Seulgi’s fingers enter her easily; Joohyun already so wet from Seulgi’s ministrations. Honestly, she’s already embarrassingly close. After not having felt Seulgi’s touch for so long (she knows what she said earlier but a week is a painfully long time, sue her) mixed with the emotional weight that’s come with the newfound knowledge that Seulgi _wants_ her, it’s enough to have her already clenching hard around Seulgi’s fingers.

“You feel so tight,” Seulgi whispers, nosing further up Joohyun’s neck now. Joohyun moans, feeling breathless at the quick way Seulgi’s pushing in and out of her. 

“Seulgi,” Joohyun moans again—mindless now at the pleasure coursing through her. “Please,” she pleads, though she doesn’t even know what she’s pleading for. 

Seulgi seems to know, though. One hand rising to palm her breast, kneading and massaging in a way that’s both rough and soft and exactly what Joohyun needs. Below, Seulgi’s hand is persistent in its efforts, even at the awkward angle. Her fingers never stop their movements even as Seulgi adjusts so that her palm can rub against Joohyun’s clit with every push in. 

“It’s okay, unnie,” Seulgi breathes into her ear, sounding a combination of sweet and hot that makes Joohyun shiver. “Let go. I’ve got you.”

Joohyun comes with a strangled groan, head thrown back as her legs give out from under her. Her hand on the sink and the thigh Seulgi places strategically between her legs are the only things that keep Joohyun from falling over entirely. Her heart feels like it’s pounding in her ears, beating hard and fast against her chest. Her orgasms are undoubtedly the strongest when they’re brought about from Seulgi. 

She gasps, breathing heavily as Seulgi slips out of her. She feels Seulgi press light kisses along the back of her neck before finally pulling away entirely. Struggling to find the air that Seulgi stole from her, Joohyun’s only able to come back to awareness at the absence of warmth. 

Joohyun’s a known cuddler. She’s especially a post coital cuddler. Seulgi is certainly aware of both these facts so with her arms suddenly no longer around Joohyun when Joohyun needs it most, she notices immediately. Whipping around to give Seulgi an earful, Joohyun’s fully prepared to whine until Seulgi holds her again. That is, until she sees what Seulgi’s doing. 

Her fingers in her mouth, Seulgi’s carefully licking away the evidence of Joohyun’s orgasm like it’s a goddamn snack. With her eyes closed and that sinfully talented tongue curling ever so skillfully around her fingers, Seulgi is the picture of sexy. And that’s not a word Joohyun uses lightly, if at all. Unthinkingly, Joohyun reaches out to grab Seulgi’s wrist, rousing the girl from her stupor. Seulgi opens her eyes slowly, smiling slightly when she sees Joohyun in front of her, flushed and freshly fucked. She tilts her head then offers Joohyun her hand, her fingertips just barely brushing against Joohyun’s lips. 

“Want a taste?” she asks sweetly, and Joohyun feels a fresh wave of arousal shoot right through her. 

She takes Seulgi’s fingers into her mouth, sucking the last of herself off those perfectly sized digits, moaning at the taste. All the while, she keeps her eyes on Seulgi, watching Seulgi’s own eyes darken with each exaggerated pass of Joohyun’s tongue. Finally, Joohyun closes her eyes, making a show of hollowing her cheeks to suck diligently at Seulgi’s fingers. 

“Unnie,” she hears before Seulgi’s pulling her hand away and pushing Joohyun back so that she can step into her space. The only warning she gets before Seulgi’s tilting her head up to kiss her eagerly. 

Honestly, Joohyun could never tire of kissing Seulgi. She always kisses with so much fervor and passion—it’s not unlike watching her on stage, like Seulgi has to give it her all, share a piece of herself or else she’s personally failed. Joohyun isn’t afraid to admit that Seulgi’s kisses always leave her more breathless than the orgasms Seulgi gives her. 

It’s only when Seulgi licks into her mouth desperately, pushing Joohyun into the sink so that the edge digs painfully into her back that Joohyun remembers where they are. Using the last of her willpower, Joohyun reluctantly pulls away, nudging Seulgi by the shoulders when Seulgi tries to follow after her. 

The pout on Seulgi’s face almost makes Joohyun give in and kiss her again, but someone has to be the adult between the two of them. 

“We can’t,” Joohyun tells her, rubbing mindlessly at Seulgi’s shoulders. 

Seulgi frowns. “Why not?” 

Joohyun raises a brow and looks around them to the very open, very public kitchen they’re in. Seulgi follows her gaze and makes a face of recognition. 

“Oh.”

Joohyun rolls her eyes fondly. “Yeah, ‘oh.’ The others will probably be home any minute. We should clean up.” 

Joohyun moves to leave the circle of Seulgi’s arms, but Seulgi stops her. She steps forward again, effectively keeping Joohyun pressed to the sink behind her. Her eyes are dark when Joohyun meets them, lips swollen from their kissing. She doesn’t waste any time kissing Joohyun again. Her mouth is hot against Joohyun’s, every part of their body meeting now. If Joohyun had to liken it to anything, she’d say it felt like Seulgi was trying to reach all the way inside of her to wherever Joohyun’s soul is so Seulgi could steal it away for herself. 

Kissing Seulgi truly is an otherworldly experience. 

When Seulgi finally pulls away, she keeps her face close, their breaths mingling so that every one of Joohyun’s inhales meets Seulgi’s exhales. 

“Unnie,” Seulgi whispers desperately. “ _I want you_.”

Joohyun can’t help her moan. 

So much for being the adult. 

\---

Joohyun clutches fiercely to Seulgi’s naked back. Her nails dig in, scratching at Seulgi’s skin. They’re pressed together so tightly, skin sweaty and cheeks flushed as they slide together, thighs meeting where they need it most. Distantly, Joohyun can hear the telltale sounds of the others walking around outside, and she stifles a moan into Seulgi’s neck at a particularly harsh thrust. 

“We have to be quiet,” Joohyun warns again, even as she rocks up into Seulgi enthusiastically. Seulgi bites at her lip to muffle herself, nodding in acquiescence before she descends on Joohyun again. 

Their mouths slot together eagerly, tongues meeting in the kind of dance only the two of them know. The bed creaks with their movement, and Joohyun can only hope that the sound is drowned out by the noise the others are making outside. Seulgi’s fingers squeeze at her side, holding her close, thigh pushing more firmly between Joohyun’s legs. Joohyun’s own thigh is caught between Seulgi’s, Seulgi’s own wetness providing just enough friction for her to grind against. It’s the delicious slide of their bodies together; their breaths coming together as one. It’s the methodic creak of the bed, the eager thrusts of their hips against each other, Joohyun’s nails raking against Seulgi’s back. 

It’s everything and it’s both too much and not enough.

“Seulgi, I—” Joohyun whispers, a quiet plea even though she’s not sure what she’s asking for. Seulgi doesn’t let up on her movements, but she pulls back to meet Joohyun’s eyes. 

Always attentive, always warm. 

“What do you need, unnie?” 

Joohyun doesn’t know, can’t find the words to ask for it. She just wordlessly trails her hand down Seulgi’s arm, following the strong lines of her bicep, down to her forearms before meeting Seulgi’s wrist. Before she can think too much about it, she raises Seulgi’s arm, bringing it forward so that Seulgi’s hand can wrap around Joohyun’s neck. 

Seulgi’s eyes widen, her hips finally stuttering in their rhythm. “Are you sure?” she asks carefully even as her fingers flex imperceptibly around Joohyun’s throat. 

Joohyun nods, but Seulgi shakes her head, ever the stickler for verbal consent.

“Yes,” Joohyun rasps out, placing Seulgi’s hand even more firmly around her, encouraging Seulgi to apply more pressure. Seulgi does, but only after a moment’s consideration. 

Finally, her fingers tighten and Joohyun feels herself go boneless in pleasure. 

“Tap twice on my hand if it’s too much, okay?” Seulgi tells her seriously. “Tap once for yes.” 

Joohyun taps once and then Seulgi’s on her again, pressing a bold kiss to Joohyun’s lips before moving to pant against Joohyun’s heated cheeks. She grinds with renewed vigour, fingers a pleasant force around Joohyun’s neck, just enough that Joohyun’s breaths come out harsher and with slightly more struggle. It’s what Joohyun needed, the last bit of pressure to push her over the edge. The complete opposite of control, the unconditional trust of giving herself over to Seulgi completely. With one last thrust, Joohyun lets go completely. 

Her orgasm is intense, the pleasure shooting through her so strong she feels like she could pass out. Body arched taut, she’s tingling everywhere in the kind of numbing sensation Joohyun thought only existed in fiction. She forgets that she even needs to be quiet until she feels Seulgi release her neck to cover her mouth instead, silencing the moan she was about to release. Seulgi comes right after with barely a gasp, eyes meeting Joohyun’s from above her. Her arms shaking from holding herself up. From beneath her, Joohyun can feel Seulgi’s whole body tense as unmistakable wetness slides down Joohyun’s thigh from between Seulgi’s legs. Seulgi keeps her palm over Joohyun’s mouth as they slump together tiredly, removing it only after she’s sure Joohyun will stay quiet.

When Joohyun looks at her, her cheeks are red and her hair clings to the sweat on her forehead. She smiles slightly as she rubs gently at the spot on Joohyun’s neck she’d previously wrapped around. 

“Was that okay?” she questions concernedly, eyes searching Joohyun’s for any signs of regret. 

Joohyun can only smile back. “It was perfect.” 

Seulgi’s answering grin is too much for Joohyun to look at so she kisses her again, holding Seulgi’s naked body closer to hers. 

She drifts asleep to Seulgi’s steady snores blowing quietly into her ear, her arm sweaty where it wraps around Joohyun’s waist, but Joohyun doesn’t mind, just sinks into Seulgi’s arms like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

She thinks this must be what love feels like.


	3. anything like her

They make a list. 

Personally, Joohyun finds the whole thing on the borderline of _extra_ , but Seulgi had insisted and Joohyun’s nothing if not compelled to give into all of Seulgi’s whims anyway. Plus, Joohyun can’t say she doesn’t appreciate having a lover like Seulgi who’s desire to please her is so strong she’s willing to make a likes/dislikes list over it. 

So, here they sit on Joohyun’s bed in nothing but twin pairs of some of Seulgi’s oversized shirts, freshly fucked and ready to talk about whatever it is they’re going to talk about. Joohyun’s legs are draped across Seulgi’s lap as Joohyun eats from a pint of ice cream while Seulgi hunches over a notepad, the paper crinkling where it rests against Joohyun’s shins. 

“So,” Seulgi starts, tongue poking out of her mouth as she writes _DISLIKE_ at the top of the page, “what’s off limits?”

“Threesomes,” Joohyun replies easily and without any thought at all. Seulgi only gives her a brief look at the quickness with which Joohyun answered before dutifully writing it down, no questions asked. 

“Okay, no threesomes,” Seulgi finishes writing. “What else?”

Joohyun licks at the ice cream on her spoon, humming in thought. “You’re not going to ask about the threesomes?”

Seulgi tilts her head. “If I wanted one, I might, but I don’t really care for them if you don’t.”

Joohyun hides her smile behind another spoonful of ice cream, maybe more than a little pleased at Seulgi’s apparent devotion to her.

She toes at Seulgi’s stomach, smirking when Seulgi squirms feebly. “Your turn. What don’t you like?”

Seulgi looks up in thought, pen tapping at her lips. When she seems to come to a realization she gulps, eyes turning away shyly. Joohyun follows the way the red on the tips of her ears begins to creep down, across her cheeks and towards her neck. A cute sight but also a curious one. 

“Uh,” Seulgi mutters, scratching at her scalp. “Well, there’s this….thing. Sunmi unnie told me about it, but”—she coughs, pulling at the collar of her shirt uncomfortably—“I don’t think I really want to try it.” 

Joohyun makes a face at Sunmi’s name but ignores it for now. They’ll come back to that later. “Well, what is it? Is it that bad that you can’t even look at me?”

On instinct, Seulgi meets her eyes and then seems to flush all over again, turning away decidedly. She mutters something down to the page, and Joohyun scrunches her nose. 

“What was that?”

Seulgi sighs and then looks up to her decidedly. “It involves wax.” 

Joohyun blinks. “Wax?”

Seulgi nods, still determinedly maintaining eye contact even though Joohyun can see how she’s struggling. It’s honestly all sorts of endearing and Joohyun would normally do something equally sappy like lean over and kiss her, except Seulgi’s just brought up the idea of using wax in bed and now Joohyun’s curious. 

“Specifically, dripping wax onto your partner’s body,” Seulgi specifies. She grimaces. “Sunmi unnie said it can feel really good if you do it right, and I’m sure it can! But…” She sighs again, focusing back on the notepad as she thumbs the corner of the page idly. “I just don’t know if that’s something I’m comfortable with. At least not yet.” 

“So write it down then.” 

Seulgi’s eyes dart up to her. “Really? That’s it.”

Joohyun shrugs. “If you’re not comfortable with it, we’re not doing it. If you really want, we can try it later, but I’m not going to force you to do something if you’re not ready.” 

“Is this something you’d want to try eventually?” She asks and Joohyun shrugs again. 

“I don’t know. I’d have to look into it more I guess.” 

“Okay,” Seulgi decides and that’s that. She writes it down but adds a little star next to it. “So we know it’s something to talk about again later,” she explains with a shy smile that’s so adorable and heartstopping Joohyun can’t not pull her into a kiss, Seulgi licking the vanilla ice cream from her lips with an eager tongue until Joohyun has to push her away before she pushes her down and onto the bed, list be damned. 

“All right,” Seulgi says, chest heaving and cheeks flushed for an entirely different reason now. “Back to the list.”

They go back and forth—with only minimal embarrassment—trading things they like and don’t like until their list is long enough to fill up an entire page. Joohyun realizes through the whole ordeal that she’s surprisingly willing to try just about anything as long as it’s Seulgi—and only Seulgi—she’s doing it with. Seulgi’s the more reticent of the two, uncomfortable with anything that involves inflicting or receiving an exorbitant amount of pain or degradation, and that suits Joohyun just fine. Truthfully, she hadn’t even been aware most of those things were things people actually did during sex anyway, so it’s not a real loss to her see to see Seulgi writing it in the dislike column. 

In the end, Joohyun gets her real pleasure, announcing boldly, “Oh, don’t forget to write that you like being praised.” 

Seulgi sputters, nearly dropping the pen as she fumbles about. “What? That’s not—I mean I don’t—w-why would you say that?” 

Joohyun raises a brow, digging around the bottom of her ice cream. “What? You don’t have to be embarrassed about it. I like being praised too.” At Seulgi’s scandalized expression, Joohyun rolls her eyes. “Oh don’t act so surprised, I know you noticed. It makes sense when you think about it.” She inclines her head then, thoughtful. “We were trainees for so long, constantly being criticized and belittled….it’s no wonder we get off on validation.” 

Seulgi makes another indignant squeak, but acquiesces. “Fine,” she agrees, cheeks a bright red even as she writes ‘praise’ in the likes column. Honestly, it’s funny just how shy Seulgi is being about the whole thing when she was the one who suggested this in the first place. Seulgi could be such an anomaly sometimes and yet Joohyun was still so pathetically into her. 

Ugh, she thinks, unwilling to think about such things just yet and finishes off her ice cream, setting the empty container on the nightstand. Seulgi’s doodling on the sides of the margins when Joohyun looks at her, humming as she tries to think of any more things to add, and Joohyun can’t help it, suddenly remembering something Seulgi mentioned earlier. 

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Joohyun starts, and Seulgi turns her attention to her. “You know, in the interest of transparency.” 

“Of course.” Seulgi gives her the slightest quirk of her lips, setting aside the notepad. “In the interest of transparency.” 

Now that she’s here, Joohyun’s quickly rethinking her angle, suddenly nervous about the can of worms this is potentially going to open. But Seulgi’s looking at her expectantly now, so patient and open, there’s no way Joohyun can just back out. 

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, she asks, “How many girls were you sleeping with?” At Seulgi’s stunned silence, Joohyun clarifies uselessly, “Before.”

Seulgi gulps. “Like, in total? Or”—she makes a vague gesture with her hand—“at the same time?” 

Joohyun gapes at her. “There’s a difference?” 

Smartly, Seulgi doesn’t answer that. Instead she starts silently mouthing off names, counting them one by one with her fingers. Joohyun digs her foot into Seulgi’s side. “Seriously? You have to count?” 

“I’m just being accurate!” Seulgi defends, grabbing and holding Joohyun’s foot in place before rubbing her ankles placatingly. Finally, after a moment far too long for Joohyun’s liking, Seulgi answers, “Nine in total.” 

Joohyun crosses her arms, displeased even though she was the one who brought it up. Which is stupid since the past is the past, but whatever. “And how many of those nine were at the same time?”

“Three,” Seulgi replies with a pinch between her brow. “But we were always safe!” At Joohyun’s unimpressed expression, Seulgi squeezes her shin. “You’re not jealous are you?” 

What a stupid question, Joohyun thinks, but keeps her mouth shut, turning her head away a little too petulantly for what the situation demands. Seulgi seems to think so, too, if the way she squeezes harder at Joohyun’s leg says anything. Finally, Joohyun sighs, dropping the act. “No, I’m not jealous. Not really. I was the one who asked in the first place, after all. I just….” 

“Don’t like hearing about me with other girls?” Seulgi finishes and Joohyun nods. “I won’t lie and say they didn’t mean anything—they’re still my friends—but it was different with them,” Seulgi explains honestly. 

If Joohyun feels a little stab in her heart at the genuineness of Seulgi’s words, she doesn’t acknowledge it, waiting instead for Seulgi to gather her thoughts and finish what she’s saying. Seulgi purses her lips, getting that far off look in her eyes she sometimes gets when she’s considering something too deeply. 

“For people like us, in the careers that we’re in, we don’t really have a lot of options, you know? And it can be hard to get the kind of experience we need to even help us figure things out. Honestly, it wasn’t even until Sunmi unnie first brought it up to me that I even stopped to really think about it, and then, well, she offered to help me out and you know…” she trails sheepishly, and Joohyun does know even though she’d rather not think about it. “After that, I told some friends. They knew people who were questioning, too, and then one thing led to another. It was just friends helping each other out, people who wanted to experiment without worrying about the repercussions. I mean, who can keep a secret better than another idol, right? I didn’t really expect for it to turn into what it did, but”—she shrugs—“if I made it easier for someone to come to terms with themselves then I don’t regret it.” 

She says it all so candidly that Joohyun maybe melts a little bit. How can she still be upset when Seulgi puts it like _that_? Typical selfless Seulgi, willing to be the one people experiment with just so they don’t have to keep wondering like she did. It makes Joohyun just want to pull her into another desperate kiss again.

But then Joohyun stops to consider it, another question popping up that she wants an answer to. “So when I first came onto you, did you think…?”

“That you were just experimenting? Yeah, but I didn’t mind helping you,” Seulgi responds simply. 

“And all the times after that?” Joohyun prompts, wondering why Seulgi didn’t just say something sooner.

Seulgi ducks her head, bashful. She rubs at Joohyun’s legs absentmindedly. “I’ve kind of had feelings for you for a long time, okay? When you initiated again, I wasn’t going to say no, and then it kept happening so I thought maybe you felt the same way too.” 

“Clearly, I did,” Joohyun says, toeing at Seulgi’s stomach again.

Seulgi drops a soothing kiss to Joohyun’s knee. “I know that _now_.” 

They smile at each other, then, the miscommunication of that time long behind them. Now, they do things like talk about their past partners and make lists about what things they like in bed. Seulgi wasn’t kidding when she said they’d work on talking to each other. 

But then Joohyun and her overactive brain starts to wonder about something else—something she’d thought of so long ago but hadn’t bothered asking. “Wait, after your—whatever it was—with Sunmi, you said you told some friends.” Joohyun’s brows furrow, the offense bleeding into her tone as she asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Seulgi doesn’t seem to expect that line of questioning, mouth dropping open and then closing again. Through it all, Joohyun waits patiently because she _has_ been wondering all this time why Seulgi never came to her about any of this or why it seemed like Seulgi never intended to in the first place. What did that say about their friendship before if Seulgi didn’t feel like she could, minimally, tell Joohyun about it? Not that Seulgi was obligated to come out to Joohyun about herself and all her escapades. Joohyun just assumed they were at least close enough to where Seulgi felt like she could if she wanted to, but maybe they weren’t and it was all just one-sided on Joohyun’s end and— 

Thankfully, Seulgi recovers before Joohyun can work herself into a mini downward spiral over the strength of their formerly platonic relationship. 

“About that…you maybe were an integral part of my coming out process,” Seulgi admits shyly. Now that has both of Joohyun’s eyebrows raising. Cracking her knuckles in the way she usually does when idly sitting, Seulgi barrels on, “I already told you, unnie, I had feelings for you for a long time; I guess I just didn’t realize how deeply those feelings ran until I really reflected on it? Once I figured it out and put everything into perspective, it was hard enough just to act normal around you; I didn’t want to accidentally make things weird by coming out too.” 

“Oh,” is all Joohyun can say, still stuck on Seulgi saying that her feelings ran _deeply_. How deep? She wants to ask, but refrains, if only to spare Seulgi who’s already back to being a blushing mess in front of her. 

“Sorry, did I make things weird? I didn’t mean to jump the gun, I just meant that realizing I’ve liked you since I was sixteen helped me figure out a lot of stuff and—” she snaps her mouth shut, wincing at the verbal onslaught she just accidentally released again. She groans. “And I’m going to shut up now.” 

Not that Joohyun’s even listening anymore, already moving forward to straddle Seulgi’s lap. Seulgi’s hands move instinctively to Joohyun’s hips even as she gasps in surprise, staring up at Joohyun in wide eyed wonder. 

“You liked me when you were sixteen?” Joohyun asks, arms moving around Seulgi’s neck. 

“Yeah,” Seulgi whispers, eyes darkening as Joohyun brings herself closer to her, lips just inches away now. 

“I’ve liked you for a long time too,” Joohyun tells her then kisses Seulgi sweetly, a slow move of their lips against each other, Seulgi following eagerly every time Joohyun pulls away to change the angle. Through slow passes of their mouths, Joohyun licks along Seulgi’s bottom lip. When Seulgi’s mouth parts, Joohyun dips her tongue inside, both of them hissing at the feeling. Eventually, Seulgi’s hands begin to wander just as Joohyun’s find purchase in Seulgi’s hair, scratching teasingly at Seulgi’s scalp. 

“Can I take this off?” Seulgi asks breathlessly, tugging at Joohyun’s shirt. Seulgi doesn’t have to ask by now, but she always does, never one to assume. Joohyun used to think her too cautious, but now she likes it. She likes knowing that Seulgi will always wait for permission even when she doesn’t have to.

“Yes,” Joohyun answers, already raising her arms. The cold air hits her bare chest instantly, nipples going rigid immediately in response. Seulgi latches onto one, sucking in a way that has Joohyun gasping for breath. She pulls insistently at the back of Seulgi’s shirt, wanting to feel more of Seulgi’s skin against hers, grateful that neither of them had put on any more clothing than this. “Yours too.” 

Seulgi pulls back, shucking her shirt off in one quick movement before she’s back on Joohyun again, hands kneading at Joohyun’s breasts while she mouths along Joohyun’s collarbones. It has heat pooling low between Joohyun’s legs, the warmth of Seulgi’s body against hers not enough to quell any of that burning ache. 

“I want you,” she moans into Seulgi’s ear. “Please, Seulgi. _Please_ , I want you so badly.” 

Seulgi groans, hand already trailing down Joohyun’s stomach. She dips her fingers into wetness, the two of them moaning simultaneously at the feeling. She rests her forehead to Joohyun’s chest, Joohyun’s arms wrapped firmly around her head to keep her there. “You have me,” she whispers hotly, finger rubbing steadily against Joohyun’s clit. 

“Seulgi,” she moans again, feeling close even though she’s clenching around nothing. She tugs at Seulgi’s hair, tipping her head back so she can kiss her again, harder and more desperate. She sucks Seulgi’s tongue into her mouth, hips moving eagerly. She’s so close. Just a little bit more. She can feel it. She’s—

Seulgi pulls away. 

Joohyun whines pathetically at the hand between her thighs retreating, ready to give Seulgi an earful, but Seulgi just wraps an arm around her waist, easily maneuvering Joohyun until she’s flat on the bed in an impressive show of strength. Joohyun groans, appreciating the feel of Seulgi’s naked body against her own. Seulgi’s own hardened nipples pressing into her; Seulgi’s own wetness dripping onto her thigh. 

“Seulgi,” Joohyun sighs, not above begging for what she wants. “ _Please_.”

“I know,” Seulgi says, laying a gentle kiss to Joohyun’s lips before separating. “I’ll make you feel good, I promise.” And then because she’s Seulgi, she adds, “If it’s too much just tell me okay? You remember what we talked about? What’s your color?”

In her haze, it takes Joohyun a while to realize Seulgi’s request for an answer. She blinks at her ceiling, recalling the conversation they’d had before their list making endeavor. A traffic light system to navigate consent: green for good, yellow to slow, red to stop. It had been more in depth than that, of course, Seulgi pulling out what seemed like an entire presentation at the time, with various articles and sources. Joohyun had just nodded along before swiftly pulling off all of Seulgi’s clothes, too endeared by Seulgi’s efforts to not want to fuck her right then and there. 

Now, Joohyun’s close to coming and Seulgi wants her color. 

“Green,” Joohyun answers after far too much thought. 

“Good.” 

Then Seulgi’s descending, sucking at one nipple while she palms the other. Joohyun arches into her, granting her more access and keen to give her everything she wants. After an indeterminate amount of time, Seulgi switches sides, always an advocate for equal attention. Joohyun moans, impatient hands scratching at Seulgi’s back, until finally, Seulgi trails lower, lips scorching a hot path down Joohyun’s stomach until she’s right at Joohyun’s hips. 

“Color?” she asks, sucking harshly at the skin there.

“Green,” Joohyun gasps out. Seulgi wastes no time moving down to wrap her lips around Joohyun’s clit, sucking it firmly into her mouth. Joohyun almost screams, the sheer pleasure of it tearing whatever breath was still in her lungs. 

Leaving her clit, Seulgi moves lower, licking into Joohyun with broad, firm strokes. She spreads Joohyun further, burying her tongue inside her and Joohyun feels her hips snap forward, legs desperate to close but unable to. 

“Seulgi, _fuck_!” 

Seulgi groans at the curse, the vibration of it almost overwhelming. Joohyun feels herself get close again, aided by the finger Seulgi adds inside her, thrusting in and out painstakingly slowly. She clenches down on it, moans coming out unabashedly now. It’s a slow rise, but one that Joohyun’s ready for. 

“I’m going to—”

Joohyun groans as Seulgi backs off, the finger inside her leaving just when Joohyun needs it. She pins Seulgi with a fierce glare. “Why did you stop?” 

Seulgi places a kiss on Joohyun's inner thigh, placating. “Color?” she asks instead. 

Annoyed as she is, Joohyun still responds with, “Green.” 

Seulgi smiles up at her, mouth shiny from Joohyun’s desire and the sight of it almost makes Joohyun moan again. “I wanted to try edging you; it’s supposed to make you feel really good.” She kisses at Joohyun’s thigh again, biting softly at the smooth skin there. She offers, “It’s on the list.” 

Dammit, Joohyun realizes Seulgi's right. Joohyun vaguely recalls Seulgi mentioning edging as something she wanted to try and Joohyun agreeing with it because she wanted to try everything that Seulgi did. It sounded fine in theory, but now in practice, Joohyun just wants to scream, having been denied an orgasm twice already. 

“Seulgi,” Joohyun whines, not even embarrassed at how she’s pouting. 

Seulgi rubs at her hip gently. “We don’t have to.” 

She says it so kindly, Joohyun knows she means it. Even though this is something Seulgi wants to try, she’d stop if Joohyun asked her to, but no matter how much Joohyun wants to come, she also wants to make Seulgi happy just as much. Sex is a shared experience, and Joohyun wants to share everything with Seulgi. 

She breathes deeply, cupping Seulgi’s cheek with her hand. “It’s fine. Keep going.”

Seulgi leans into her, mouth kissing tenderly at her palm. “Color?”

With one long suffering sigh, Joohyun answers, “Green.” 

Seulgi returns to her, two fingers moving in and out in long, deep thrusts, mouth wrapped around Joohyun’s clit. The sudden intense pleasure already has Joohyun close. She clenches down desperately, hoping against all odds that Seulgi will keep going. The pressure builds again, faster and harsher now, but just when Joohyun thinks she’s going to fall, Seulgi pulls away. 

She wants to sob, but she’s not that far gone yet. She groans instead, Seulgi laying soothing kisses to her stomach, until Joohyun’s finally stopped clenching around her fingers and her breathing has returned to normal. Only then does she return, alternating between her mouth and her fingers as she once again brings Joohyun to the brink, just to bring her back down again without release. 

On and on it goes, Joohyun a moaning, writhing mess beneath Seulgi’s talented hands and mouth. She’s sticky with sweat, hair stuck annoyingly to her forehead and cheeks, but she can’t be bothered to care. Every nerve in her body feels like it’s on fire, desperate for an orgasm Seulgi’s continuously denying her. When Seulgi pulls back out again just as Joohyun is tipping towards climax, she almost cries. 

“Please, Seulgi, _please_ ,” she begs incoherently, face buried into the side of her pillow. “Please let me come. I need it. I need _you_.”

Seulgi rises, kissing Joohyun’s forehead, cheeks, neck, anything she can reach until Joohyun turns towards her and Seulgi captures her lips with hers. 

“It’s okay, unnie,” Seulgi shushes. “It’s okay. Color?” 

Joohyun can barely think, aching with the need for release, but Seulgi taps her on the side, imploringly. 

“G-Green,” Joohyun rasps, and Seulgi plunges inside once more.

Her thrusts are hard and fast, Joohyun’s mouth falling open in a silent scream. She clutches desperately at Seulgi’s back, willing the girl to stay this time until Joohyun’s finished. Seulgi seems to understand, holding onto Joohyun as her fingers piston in and out of her. 

“You can come, unnie,” Seulgi pants into her ear, thumbing at Joohyun’s clit. “It’s okay. Come for me, unnie.”

With one last thrust, Joohyun does, her orgasm ripping through her powerfully with a silent scream. Like a dam finally breaking, Joohyun feels it overtake her all at once. Vaguely, she’s aware of herself clawing at Seulgi’s back, but it feels like her body’s no longer her own. Her legs are shaking, heartbeat pounding in her ear as she convulses around Seulgi. It’s like nothing she’s ever felt before, the build up from being taken to the edge so many times, creating a sensation so strong, Joohyun feels close to passing out, the edges of her vision going dark. 

Distantly, she can feel Seulgi running a tender hand through her hair, cooing softly as she noses along Joohyun’s cheek. Seulgi helps her ride out her orgasm, pumping in and out slowly until she slips out entirely. Joohyun whimpers at the loss, gradually coming back to awareness until Seulgi’s soothing words sound less garbled and more coherent. 

“Unnie, unnie,” she calls sweetly. “You did so well, unnie.” When Seulgi notices Joohyun’s come back into focus, she smiles, kissing Joohyun softly. 

“That was….intense,” Joohyun says after a while, still trying to catch her breath. 

“Was that okay?” Seulgi asks in concern. 

“More than okay,” Joohyun answers, and it really was. Joohyun’s gotten in the habit of thinking every orgasm Seulgi gives her is the strongest she’s ever had, but this one certainly takes the cake so far, her aching body still feeling the force of it.

“I’m glad.” Seulgi kisses her again, resting her body more firmly against Joohyun’s. 

Joohyun feels the wetness against her thigh, and, in spite of herself, she moans. 

“Let me,” she tells Seulgi, hand running down her stomach suggestively. 

Seulgi groans. “I’m already close.” 

“I can tell,” Joohyun says, finger swiping through Seulgi’s wetness experimentally. Seulgi’s hips buck forward, and Joohyun smirks, tired and exhausted as she is. “Come here.” 

She tugs at Seulgi’s waist, guiding her up. Seulgi’s look of confusion is adorable until her eyes suddenly widen in recognition.

“Are you sure?”

Joohyun nods, pulling Seulgi up further until her knees are on either side of Joohyun’s head. “It was on the list, remember?” 

“Right,” Seulgi says looking down at her, blushing fiercely. It’s such a sight to behold, Seulgi kneeling over her—her sex, wet and dripping, right above Joohyun’s face. Joohyun almost licks her lips in anticipation. “Tap once for yes, and twice to stop, okay?” Seulgi reminds her and Joohyun nods. “Color?”

“Green.” 

Seulgi lowers herself, and Joohyun licks into her greedily, lapping up all the wetness there. She hears Seulgi moan above her, thighs shaking against her cheeks. Seulgi always taste so good, so sweet. It’s addicting to eat her out, to know that it’s Joohyun’s own tongue eliciting such sounds from Seulgi’s sweet mouth. Wrapping her arms around Seulgi’s waist to pull her more firmly down against Joohyun’s mouth, Joohyun sucks at Seulgi’s clit. 

She hears Seulgi gasp, hips moving in a steady grind now. Seulgi hadn’t been lying—she was already close. Joohyun can feel it in the tremble of her legs, how she clenches down onto Joohyun’s tongue, the way she digs blunt fingers into Joohyun’s hair as her hips thrust forward. When Joohyun uses her hands to pull Seulgi’s outer lips back, granting her more access to the swollen clit peeking out of its hood, Seulgi comes with a sharp moan. 

It’s always a glorious sight to see Seulgi come. She’s so pretty, so unrestrained. Seulgi can hold so many parts of herself back sometimes that being the cause of her undoing usually fills Joohyun with an unbridled sense of pride. 

Joohyun holds her through the aftershocks of her orgasms, licking intermittently and enjoying the juices flowing freely onto her waiting tongue. After a few long moments of Seulgi gasping for breath above her, thighs shaking where they rest against Joohyun’s shoulders, she finally rises, peeling herself away from Joohyun’s mouth unsteadily. She moves to rest beside Joohyun, kissing her languidly and groaning slightly at the taste of herself. 

When she pulls back, Seulgi smiles, tipping her forehead to rest against Joohyun’s. 

“Color?” she asks one last time, one corner of her mouth rising up teasingly.

Joohyun rolls her eyes, affectionate as she answers, “Green.”

\---

Later, Seulgi presses a kiss to Joohyun’s collarbone, their sweat slicked bodies sticking to each other in a way not entirely unpleasant. 

“In the interest of transparency,” Seulgi begins, nuzzling into Joohyun’s neck as Joohyun runs soothing fingers through her hair, “can I ask how many people you’ve been with?”

Joohyun snorts, poking at Seulgi’s back. “Only three.” 

Seulgi hums interestedly. “All men?”

“Unfortunately,” Joohyun sighs, briefly reminiscing about all those failed, lackluster relationships. She really should have done some more self-reflection sooner. 

“I didn’t like any of your boyfriends,” Seulgi tells her. Joohyun can feel the way her mouth curls into a pout and she laughs. 

“Gee, I wonder why.” At her words, Seulgi bites gently at Joohyun’s neck, teasing. Joohyun squirms at the feeling then noses at Seulgi’s hair, foot running up and down Seulgi’s leg appeasingly. “It’s okay, I didn’t like them that much either.” Then, because she’s feeling particularly sentimental in the wake of such a fantastic orgasm, she adds, “Not like I like you anyway.” 

Seulgi leans up onto her elbows, mouth lifted into something between a smirk and grin. “Yeah?” she asks, kissing Joohyun unhurriedly. 

“Yeah,” Joohyun answers, hands lifting to frame Seulgi’s face. Seulgi’s kisses are slow, meaningful. Her body heavy against Joohyun’s, pinning her to the mattress. Heart pounding and with her breaths shaky, Joohyun admits for the first time, “I think I might more than like you actually.”

Seulgi rests her forehead to hers, eyes shining even in the dim lighting. Joohyun closes her eyes to Seulgi lovingly brushing her hair out of the way. 

“I think I might more than like you, too,” Seulgi whispers back, kissing her again, longer and deeper until Joohyun’s writhing suggestively underneath her. She clings to Seulgi’s sweaty back, wondering how it can be possible to feel so much even when saying so little. 

It’s not an I love you—not yet—but it’s certainly close to it.


	4. when the sun goes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posted 3 chapters in one day bc why not. cheers.

Seulgi invites them all to her birthday celebration. 

“A celebration,” she emphasizes, “not a party.”

Just a few friends at a restaurant owned by someone she knows. A small get together to celebrate another year passing with the people she’s close to. She says this all very enthusiastically, standing before all the members in the living room, and Joohyun is so endeared she wants to do something reckless like kiss her. Instead, she smiles and nods along when Seungwan promises to check her schedule, Sooyoung and Yerim agreeing as well.

Joohyun thinks that’s that, until Seulgi slips into her room later that night. She kisses Joohyun hard, tongue licking into Joohyun’s mouth hotly, and when she pulls away, Joohyun is dazed and more than a little turned on. 

“Will you come?” she asks Joohyun seriously, and Joohyun almost thinks she’s talking about something else entirely until Seulgi clarifies, “To my birthday?” 

“Oh,” Joohyun blinks. “I think I have a photoshoot. I’ll have to check.” 

Seulgi thumbs at Joohyun’s hip. “It’d be nice,” she says, almost shyly, “if you came.” And Joohyun hears the unspoken request loud and clear. 

_I want you there_.

Later, when Seulgi is asleep next to her, Joohyun traces the bare lines of her back, smiling fondly at her soft snores and the subtle way Seulgi shifts whenever Joohyun’s wandering hands stray a little too low. She drops a kiss to Seulgi’s shoulder and then reaches over her to grab the phone on her nightstand. 

She does have a photoshoot during Seulgi’s birthday celebration, but in a moment of brash decision making, Joohyun fires off a text to their manager. It takes some back and forth, an uncanny show of assertiveness, and a plethora of promises Joohyun’s loath to admit to, but eventually it ends with an earlier start time and a newly free afternoon.

And when she tells Seulgi the next day that she’ll definitely be there, and Seulgi smiles so happily at Joohyun that Joohyun almost gets whiplash when Seulgi suddenly falls to her knees, giving Joohyun two incredible orgasms right there in the middle of the hallway, well, Joohyun thinks all her effort was definitely worth it.

\---

To nobody’s surprise, Joohyun is uncomfortable and terribly socially awkward. Really, considering the person she is, Joohyun thought she’d be passed this by this point, but none of the other members were able to make it, so now, sitting in a restaurant surrounded by all of Seulgi’s closest friends, Joohyun is feeling wildly out of her element. 

She finds a table in the back corner and stays there for a lack of anything else to do. She’s met most of Seulgi’s friends, at least in passing, but the two of them never ran around in the same circles if Joohyun’s being honest. Most of the time Joohyun even wondered how the two of them worked so well despite their many differences, so it’s not that surprising that all Joohyun can really do is smile and nod whenever someone approaches her. 

“You look like you could use this.” 

A glass of something clear and thick finds its way in front of Joohyun, pushed forward by a hand Joohyun sees is attached to one Moon Byulyi. The only other celebrity there, Joohyun smiles gratefully at her, Byulyi taking it as an invitation to sit down. 

“Not having fun?” Byulyi asks kindly, shrugging off her jacket and hanging it off the back of her chair. 

“Just feeling a little bit out of my depth,” Joohyun admits sheepishly. 

“Well, then you definitely could use this,” Byulyi says, raising her own glass in a silent challenge. Joohyun accepts, raising hers as well in quiet cheers before knocking it back. 

Grimacing at the sudden burn, Joohyun drops the now empty glass onto the table, Byulyi mirroring her. 

“What do you say?” Byulyi grins conspiratorially. “How about another round?” 

Joohyun chances a look around the room at all the vaguely familiar faces, at Seulgi grinning happily with the arm of one of her close friends wrapped around her shoulder, Seulgi’s own looped loosely around the waist of another next to her. She looks over, then—like she'd done periodically since Joohyun arrived—and smiles encouragingly. Joohyun swallows, feeling the anxiety spike alongside the stupid need to impress. 

“Sure,” Joohyun agrees, already moving to stand up. “Next one’s on me.”

\---

Somewhere between the third and fourth round, Joohyun forgot she wasn’t much of a drinker. But Byulyi is fun company, filling the silences with jokes and questions. It’s easy to lose track of the drinks shared between the two of them when Byulyi makes her laugh so hard she almost chokes on her alcohol. Or when she asks Joohyun something so surprisingly thoughtful, Joohyun feels the need to down her drinks even faster to be able to answer them properly. Through it all, Joohyun can see why Seulgi’s so fond of Byulyi. It’s enough to make Joohyun regret having never gotten closer to her herself. 

"So that's how Seulgi and I accidentally got lost on the streets of her own hometown at 4am on a Tuesday," Byulyi finishes her story with a flourish, the two of them breaking out into a raucous laughter at the ridiculousness of the tale. 

Joohyun leans into Byulyi's side, cheeks sore from the width of her smile and body warm from the copious amounts of alcohol Byulyi managed to ply into her. She's only looked over at Seulgi a minimum of seven times—she counted—and each time Seulgi had already been looking back at her. That may also have something to do with the speed with which Joohyun is emptying her glasses.

"I can't believe you two," Joohyun tells Byulyi, voice only slightly slurred which Joohyun takes pride in. 

Byulyi shrugs, not offended in the slightest, and smiles mischievously. "We always have a good time." She leans forward then, voice low and tone secretive. Joohyun has to tilt her head closer just to hear her properly, but when she does, she almost wishes she hadn't. “Okay, so, tell me something. How long have you and Seulgi been together?”

Joohyun almost rears back in surprise, but she catches herself at the last minute. Even through her drunken haze, she remembers enough to attempt to play cool. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Byulyi rolls her eyes. “You don’t have to hide it. I could tell something was up as soon as Seulgi decided to suddenly go celibate, and you’re the only person I could imagine her doing that for, so.” She narrows her eyes at Joohyun who currently can’t control her mouth from opening and closing repeatedly, still stuck on Seulgi’s known celibate status and Byulyi just somehow assuming it was because of Joohyun. “How long?” 

Joohyun should answer. Or she should deny it. 

Regardless, what comes out of her mouth is a pathetically soft, “She didn’t tell you?” 

Byulyi doesn’t seem to be expecting that response either, dropping her act to reach for Joohyun’s hand. 

“Of course not. She’d never betray your confidence like that.”

Joohyun groans, dropping her head into her arms because Seulgi’s so sweet, in her drunkenness, it just makes Joohyun want to cry. Or do something crazy like march over there and kiss Seulgi in front of all her friends.

Mostly, though, she just wants to cry. 

"She's so _nice_ ," Joohyun laments and Byulyi pats at Joohyun's back sympathetically.

"I know."

"It's so _annoying_!"

"I know."

"But it's also kind of hot."

"Okay, that one I don't know, but I'll agree with you anyway."

Joohyun lifts her head to glare at Byulyi, something like jealousy ready to burn hot and sharp in Joohyun's chest. "You think Seulgi's hot?"

Byulyi's eyes go wide at the sudden intensity in Joohyun's voice. "What? No!" 

Joohyun frowns at her, suddenly offended on Seulgi's behalf. "You don't think she's hot? Why not?" 

Byulyi purses her lips, opens her mouth to reply and then closes it with a shake of her head. "This feels like a trap. I may be drunk, but I can smell a setup from a mile away." She wags an accusatory finger in Joohyun's direction. "You won't get me that easily, Bae Joohyun." 

Joohyun can't help it—she laughs, grabbing at Byulyi's finger like a kid would a toy. 

"You're funny, Byulyi," Joohyun decides. "No wonder Seulgi likes you so much." 

Byulyi preens at the compliment. "Thanks! You're not so bad yourself either, unnie." She smiles mischievously again. "Even if you're awful at holding your alcohol." 

"Hey!" 

She pushes at Byulyi, and then they both burst into a chorus of laughter again. Joohyun's sides start to hurt from laughing so much, and she feels significantly better than earlier, no longer worried about being the lone wolf in a sea of Seulgi's friends. 

She really should spend more time with Byulyi after this. 

“Seriously, though,” Byulyi says, once they’ve calmed down. “I’m glad she finally got her head out of her ass and made a move. Watching her pine was starting to drive me crazy.” 

Joohyun snorts into her glass. “Please. I made the first move. If Seulgi had it her way, she’d still be sleeping with half the female idols in the industry even though I was right next to her the whole time.” 

Byulyi shakes her head, disappointed but not surprised. “Of course you did. I told her to just go for it, but she wouldn’t listen. She’s so stubborn when she wants to be.” 

“Yeah, she really is,” Joohyun agrees fondly. 

She looks over at Seulgi again, Seulgi grinning at whatever it is her friend is saying to her. She must sense Joohyun’s eyes on her, though, turning to meet Joohyun’s gaze. She arches a brow in question, silently checking in, and Joohyun nods reassuringly at her. Seulgi’s answering smile is blinding, and Joohyun can do nothing but copy it, heart feeling as tender as the sudden ache between her legs. 

“You two are disgusting,” Byulyi interrupts with a grimace. 

Joohyun rolls her eyes. “I may not hang out with you that often, but I know for a fact you and Yongsun are worse.”

Byulyi shrugs. “You’ve got me there.” She raises her glass in a toast. “To happy relationships.”

“To happy relationships,” Joohyun echoes, raising hers as well and clinking it against Byulyi’s softly before finishing the rest of her drink in one giant gulp. This one burns as it slides down her throat, the sheer volume of it more than what Joohyun was ready for. She coughs roughly into her hand, and Byulyi slaps her back. 

“Atta girl. How about another round?”

“I think you’re trying to kill me,” Joohyun rasps out, feeling lightheaded now. It’s been far too long since she’s drank like this, and her tolerance is definitely not quite what it used to be—which isn’t saying much since it was barely sufficient to begin with.

“It’s a celebration!” Byulyi answers, and Joohyun rolls her eyes again.

“Fine. One more.”

Byulyi cheers, but before she can move to stand up, she pauses, eyeing something at Joohyun’s back with an excited glint in her eyes. Joohyun raises a brow in question, but she gets her answer soon enough, somehow sensing the presence behind her before they’ve even finished their approach.

"You two look like you're having fun."

Seulgi's hands settle on Joohyun's shoulders, squeezing there softly. Reflexively, Joohyun leans back, tipping her head to feel the warmth from Seulgi's stomach. Seulgi steps even closer, letting Joohyun rest her head against her as her hands dip to rub at Joohyun’s biceps before moving back up. Next to them, Byulyi remains unbothered by the display of affection. 

"We're bonding," Byulyi tells her and Joohyun nods seriously in agreement. "You never told me Joohyun unnie was so funny." 

Joohyun beams. "Hear that? I'm _funny_." 

Seulgi giggles, thumbs rubbing subtly at the base of Joohyun's neck. 

"Yes, unnie, you're very funny," Seulgi agrees, indulgent. "You both are." 

“But I’m the funniest, right?” Joohyun asks, head tilted up to stare at Seulgi upside down. Seulgi looks down at her, brows furrowed and adorably confused. 

“I—” she starts then stops, and Joohyun glares at her. Next to them, Joohyun just knows that Byulyi is giving Seulgi a similar look with the way Seulgi’s eyes shift back and forth between the two of them. “I’m not sure I want to answer this,” Seulgi finally settles on. 

Joohyun and Byulyi both burst into another fit of laughter, and Seulgi can only smile along, confused as she is. That just makes the two of them giggle harder, deciding for whatever reason that they’re in on a secret Seulgi isn’t privy to. 

“Come, sit down, Seulgi,” Byulyi invites, moving into the seat across the table so that Seulgi can sit in hers, conveniently right next to Joohyun. “We were just about to get another round.” 

Seulgi takes the seat, moving it subtly as she does so that it’s even closer to Joohyun’s side than it already was. “Oh? You haven’t drank enough already?” 

Byulyi waves off the suggestion. “Nonsense. Besides, you and I both know I can go all night.”

Joohyun frowns at the suggestiveness in that statement. Byulyi takes notice and rolls her eyes at her. “Not like that,” she says and Joohyun relaxes. Until, “Though not for lack of trying that’s for sure.” 

Joohyun glares at Byulyi as Seulgi sputters next to her. “She’s kidding!” She turns wide eyes to Joohyun, hand habitually falling to Joohyun’s thigh. “She’s kidding.”

Distracted by the warmth of Seulgi’s palm seeping through her pants, Joohyun can only nod. Seulgi seems to sense where Joohyun’s thoughts have gone, her own eyes darkening as they meet Joohyun’s. They stare at each other for a long moment, Joohyun debating how bad it would _really_ be if she were to drag Seulgi away to an empty closet during her own birthday celebration. The scraping of a chair across the floor pulls them from the moment, Byulyi now standing up decidedly.

“Okay, well,” Byulyi announces loudly, giving them both a pointed look. “Now I’m _definitely_ getting us all a drink.” 

When she walks away to the bar, Joohyun feels the hand on her thigh squeeze meaningfully. Seulgi’s closer now, head lowered just enough to still be considered appropriate for a public setting. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Seulgi whispers. “Are you sure you’re having fun?”

“I’m having fun,” Joohyun reassures, and Seulgi smiles, moving to lean back until Joohyun stops her with a hand to her wrist. She looks at Joohyun questioningly. “Are _you_ having fun?”

Seulgi arches a brow. “Of course. Almost everyone I love is here; I couldn’t ask for a better birthday.” 

Joohyun swallows at Seulgi’s words, the meaning not lost on her. “I’m really glad I could be here then. Happy birthday, Seulgi. You deserve it.”

Joohyun can see the way Seulgi’s eyes go soft, how her throat bobs with a harsh swallow. She sees all this and squirms, pleased to have gotten such a reaction. Joohyun almost throws caution to the wind entirely, taken with the need to kiss Seulgi right then and there. If anything, Seulgi seems to be on the same page, already leaning forward as well. She’s so close that Joohyun can smell the faint scent of alcohol on her breath, so close that all Joohyun would have to do is lean a little bit more and—

“I’m back! What did I miss?” Byulyi slams the tray of drinks down with a harsh thud, jolting Joohyun and Seulgi away from each other. Byulyi pins them both with a knowing stare, smirking widely, and Joohyun glares at her.

Never mind, Joohyun decides, taking one of the drinks and downing it quickly. She doesn’t know what Seulgi sees in Byulyi at all. 

\---

Seulgi drinks with them longer than she probably intended. The atmosphere at their table is a little too good to pass up—even Joohyun can sense that as drunk as she is—so she doesn’t fault Seulgi for wanting to stick around. Between Joohyun’s unfiltered laughter and Byulyi’s neverending stream of jokes, their table has turned into one the loudest, catching the attention of some of Seulgi’s other friends who eventually wander over to join as well, Joohyun filled with more than enough alcohol to no longer care about propriety. 

Through it all, Seulgi has grown more comfortable as well, chair practically pushed against Joohyun’s under the guise of making more room at the table. Seulgi’s knee knocks into Joohyun’s every so often in a way that can’t be entirely accidental, and, in a moment borne from impulsiveness and frustration, Joohyun puts a hand on Seulgi’s thigh to stop her. Of course this doesn’t deter Seulgi in the slightest, the girl simply adjusting so she can press the entirety of her side into Joohyun’s instead. 

Looking around, none of Seulgi’s friends seem to notice, too enamored by Byulyi’s enthusiastic retelling of her and Seulgi’s first outing together. Everyone except Byulyi, of course, who takes the time to smirk in Joohyun’s direction in between her storytelling. Joohyun flushes a dark red she hopes she can play off as a regular side effect from the alcohol. She goes to remove her hand from Seulgi’s thigh, but Seulgi stops her, laying her own hand over Joohyun’s and turning it over to lace their fingers together instead. 

Joohyun feels her heart jump, somehow feeling both turned on and incredibly smitten all at once, torn between wanting to jump Seulgi right then and there or bury her head in Seulgi’s neck and let Seulgi simply hold her for hours on end. The cognitive dissonance is a little too much for Joohyun to handle so she does neither of those things, just stays frozen in her seat to let Seulgi dictate what she is and isn’t comfortable with showing in front of her friends.

Eventually, Seulgi begins to rub soothingly at the back of Joohyun’s hand with her thumb, tracing along the curve of Joohyun’s hand over and over again until Joohyun is absolutely positive that her current need to fuck Seulgi right at this very moment strongly outweighs any of her other sappy feelings. The tension pooling in between Joohyun’s legs is a little too strong for her to ignore now, so Joohyun does what any sane person would do when found in the incredibly awkward position of being aggressively turned on in public—she excuses herself to the restroom. 

“I’ll be right back,” she announces quietly, standing up on shaky legs. A hand to her elbow stops her, and she turns to find Seulgi staring up at her carefully. 

“I’ll go with you, unnie,” she says. Then, probably to avoid suspicion, she adds, “You’ve had a lot to drink tonight.”

Joohyun nods and together they make their way to the back of the restaurant where the restrooms are. Joohyun’s body thrums in anticipation, wondering if this is really going to happen—if they’re about to add public indecency onto their imaginary checklist of debaucherous activities. 

When they enter, Seulgi pushes Joohyun back into the closed door immediately, barely giving a thought to lock it before her mouth is on Joohyun’s insistently. Joohyun moans at the taste of pineapple flavored soju on Seulgi’s tongue, sucking it into her mouth greedily. She feels drunk on more than just the alcohol now, Seulgi’s body a pleasant warmth pressed tightly against her. Her hand trails up the back of Seulgi’s shirt, admiring the smoothe plane of Seulgi’s back as she scratches blunt nails along her skin. 

Seulgi grabs for Joohyun’s wrist, pinning it to the door near Joohyun’s head, and Joohyun groans, always appreciative of Seulgi’s rare displays of assertiveness. She kisses down Joohyun’s neck, pulling aside Joohyun’s shirt to bite at Joohyun’s shoulder, and Joohyun thinks she might die if Seulgi doesn’t touch her now. Sue her, she has a tendency for overdramatics when she drinks. 

“We should stop,” Seulgi says, pulling away reluctantly even as her eyes continue to stray further down Joohyun’s body. Joohyun’s wrist is still firmly in her grasp, and neither make any effort to move from their current positions. 

“You’re not serious, right?” Joohyun asks, taking a page out of Seulgi’s book in her need for certain clarity. 

Seulgi, to Joohyun’s utter disappointment and frustration, nods. 

“We have to.” At Joohyun’s whine, Seulgi places a placating kiss on the corner of Joohyun’s mouth. “Everyone will start to wonder why we’ve been gone for so long,” she explains, “and we’ve been drinking anyway. It wouldn’t be right to do something like this when our minds aren’t clear.” 

Joohyun gives her a look. “Byulyi will distract them. And I don’t know about you, but my mind is very clear on what it wants right now.” 

For emphasis, she grinds down on Seulgi’s thigh which had found its way in between Joohyun’s legs at some point. Seulgi groans, head falling to Joohyun’s shoulder. 

“Unnie,” she moans when Joohyun doesn’t stop her movements, feeling close already just from this minimal friction. 

Seulgi releases Joohyun’s wrist, hands falling to Joohyun’s waist to guide Joohyun further. Joohyun can feel Seulgi mouthing along the skin of her shoulder, and she moans, breathless and wanton already. She’s not sure if it’s the alcohol that’s heightening her pleasure or the memory of Seulgi throughout the night, constantly checking on Joohyun to make sure Joohyun was all right, even though it was Seulgi’s own party with Seulgi’s own friends. Either way, the tenderness of it all has Joohyun feeling needy in more ways than one, clutching at Seulgi’s back as she uses Seulgi’s thigh to bring herself to a shallow orgasm. 

When it’s over, Joohyun feels herself go boneless, remaining upright through Seulgi’s hold alone. Her chest is heaving from exertion, Seulgi licking at the flush that’s found its way down to Joohyun’s neck. While certainly not the orgasm Joohyun needed, it was satisfying enough for Joohyun to make it through the rest of the night without the need for any more dirty bathroom hookups—at least she hopes anyway. 

Seulgi, on the other hand, is tense against Joohyun, breath heavy and shuddering as she kisses back up Joohyun’s neck. She meets Joohyun’s lips again, and they kiss for a long moment, slow and deep, and everything Joohyun loves. 

Carefully, Joohyun’s hand inches down Seulgi’s stomach, briefly admiring the sturdiness of Seulgi’s abs before dipping just so into the waistband of Seulgi’s pants. 

“Color?” Joohyun barely has the presence of mind to ask. 

Seulgi leans back slightly, enough for Joohyun to see how her eyes are blown wide and her lips are kiss swollen. She looks wrecked, and it’s no surprise at all when Joohyun sees her nod once.

“Green.” 

Joohyun doesn’t waste any time, hand slipping into Seulgi’s pants and passed her underwear, right into direct heat. They both moan at the feeling. Seulgi’s so wet, it’s easy to slip two fingers inside her immediately, finding a steady rhythm as Seulgi falls against her. 

“You feel so good,” Joohyun murmurs into Seulgi’s ear, smirking when she feels Seulgi clench around her fingers. She noses at Seulgi’s hair, increasing her pace as she thumbs at Seulgi’s clit. “You look so pretty tonight; I’ve been wanting to do this since I got here.”

“Unnie,” Seulgi moans, breath shaky. One of her hands falls to the door behind them, clawing at it desperately as Joohyun begins to move even faster, sliding in and out of Seulgi easily with how wet she is.

“You’re so good,” Joohyun coos. A continuous stream of praises falling from her lips. A constant repetition of _you feel so good, you’re so pretty, please come for me, Seulgi, please, you’re so pretty when you come, Seulgi, Seulgi, Seulgi_. Joohyun can be embarrassed about it later, but right now there’s just something so undeniably hot about seeing the way Seulgi completely unravels with just a few choice words. 

Seulgi’s close now, panting harshly in Joohyun’s ear as her hips begin to move in time with Joohyun’s thrusts. She’s clenching down harder now, and Joohyun knows she’ll break soon enough. Just a little bit more, just one more thrust, just—

Voices outside startle them. It’s near, the sounds of footsteps coming closer to where they are. They both freeze, twin expressions of panic mirrored on both their faces. Joohyun moves to slide out, already debating the quickest way they could spin this if someone were to try and enter the bathroom now, but Seulgi stops her with a firm hand around her wrist. 

Joohyun looks at her questioningly, but Seulgi only bites at her lip, seemingly confused by her own actions. 

“Seulgi, what—”

“Don’t stop.” 

Joohyun’s mouth drops, sure she’s heard wrong. The footsteps have stopped a little ways from the bathroom doors, but the voices continue, the people outside seemingly having a conversation just a few feet from where they are. There’s no way Seulgi would want to continue when they’re so close to being caught, but when Joohyun searches her expression she can see nothing but unbridled want and a seriousness typically only reserved for their most adventurous forays in the bedroom. 

Then Joohyun remembers Seulgi’s past ‘secret’ trysts, almost all of them occurring in some kind of public setting, how insistent Seulgi can be on fucking Joohyun in random places in their home away from the bedroom, and suddenly it all makes sense. 

Seulgi gets off on the thrill of being caught. 

Joohyun smirks. “Really?” 

Seulgi can only nod furiously. 

“Green,” she says without being asked, and that’s all the answer Joohyun needs. 

She pumps inside Seulgi quickly, faster and harsher now with the voices outside as their background music. She trails a hand under Seulgi’s shirt, palming at one of Seulgi’s breasts. Seulgi’s body feels like it’s trembling against her, and Joohyun kisses just below Seulgi’s ear, biting at Seulgi’s earlobe and grinning when she hears Seulgi attempt to muffle her moans. 

“You like this, don’t you?” Joohyun asks teasingly, voice low in Seulgi’s ear. “You like almost being caught.” Seulgi shudders and Joohyun giggles. “I should have known; you _do_ love to be watched.” 

Seulgi groans at Joohyun’s words, a little too loudly for their current predicament, and Joohyun shushes her, reminding her to be quiet as she uses her palm to rub against Seulgi’s clit and pinches at Seulgi’s nipple through her bra. The voices outside get louder, footsteps drawing near again, and Joohyun’s eyes widen even as her fingers continue to pump furiously in and out. 

The very real threat of being caught seems to be what Seulgi needed, though, Seulgi slapping a hand over her mouth as she comes hard around Joohyun’s fingers. Joohyun wasn’t lying when she said Seulgi is pretty when she comes, and it’s all Joohyun can do but admire the sight before her, stilling to let Seulgi ride out her own orgasm with weak thrusts of her hips until Seulgi finally relaxes, weakly slumping against Joohyun tiredly. Joohyun slides out of her carefully, rubbing soothingly up and down Seulgi’s back as she catches her breath. 

The voices outside pass the bathroom before disappearing entirely out the door at the end of the hallway, and Joohyun finally calms as well. She lets out a sigh of relief, pressing a sweet kiss to Seulgi’s sweaty temple. 

“Happy birthday, Seulgi.”

\---

They finally return to their table after nearly forty minutes, hair perfectly placed and not a single smudge in their makeup. They catch the tail end of Byulyi’s story, sliding into their seats without a single person even noticing. Everyone except for Byulyi, of course, who has the graciousness to wait until everyone gathers around to sing Seulgi happy birthday to sidle up next to Joohyun. 

“So, a bathroom quickie, huh?” she whispers teasingly just as the cake is brought out and everyone cheers. 

Joohyun promptly elbows her in the stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe all the moonrene in lup got to me idk


	5. we'll stay inside when it rains

"We should go on a date," Seulgi says one day, dutifully ignoring Joohyun's eyes as she sketches across the paper in her lap. 

They're in Seulgi's room for once, an old record playing as Joohyun reads on Seulgi's bed and Seulgi draws next to her, the two of them cramped together in the small space but not really minding. It's all terribly domestic, and Joohyun feels warm all over, unsure if this tenderness in her heart has always been there or if it's just a byproduct of the fairy lights and the scented candle Seulgi lit up earlier. For romantic ambience, she'd said and Joohyun had laughed even though it does admittedly feel a little romantic. 

"A date?" Joohyun asks, placing her bookmark in between the pages before closing the book entirely. She's been stuck on the same page for the last twenty minutes, too distracted by Seulgi's look of concentration as she messed around with the new charcoal pencils she bought recently. Even all that time spent looking at her and Seulgi still managed to catch Joohyun off guard with her words. 

"Yeah." Seulgi nods. "We haven’t been on one yet. You know, officially.” 

“We went out yesterday,” Joohyun points out. 

Seulgi frowns. “That doesn’t count. That wasn’t a date.” 

“What was it then?” Joohyun asks, mostly amused now by the pinch between Seulgi’s brows. 

“It was, it was….friendly?” Seulgi narrows her eyes then decides determinedly, “A friend date.”

“We got dinner and dessert, went for a walk, and then came back here and you know”—Joohyun makes a vague gesture with her hand, appreciating the blush that blooms on Seulgi’s cheeks at the implication—“that sounds like a date to me.” 

“No, that’s not a date! We always do that.”

Joohyun tilts her head. “We’re together so I guess technically every time we go out it’s like a date.”

“That’s not how it works.” Seulgi crosses her arms. “I didn’t ask you so it can’t be a date. I have to ask you for it to be a date.”

Joohyun wants to laugh, but she holds it in—the sight of Seulgi, petulant and frowning, a little too much for her at the moment. She knows how Seulgi is. The girl never quite got over her idealistic romantic expectations, largely born from the copious amount of romantic media she consumes with regularity. Even if Joohyun could never quite get behind most of it, she understood the appeal, and, of course, she’d never say no to all the cute things Seulgi likes to do for her in the name of romance. 

“Okay,” Joohyun agrees, watching fondly as Seulgi’s expression softens instantly. “Let’s go on a date then.”

Seulgi’s smile is so bright, Joohyun can feel her own blush looming on her skin. 

"So where are we going?' Joohyun asks, picking up her book again in a bid for casualness. "Also, when are we going? Do I need to dress up? Should I buy something new?" Joohyun pauses, already cataloguing all her outfit choices in her head and deciding yes, she _does_ need to do some online shopping. "I'm going to buy something new."

When she looks at Seulgi again, Seulgi is gazing at her blankly, mouth parted in a daze. She blinks at Joohyun slowly. 

"What?"

Joohyun sighs, tiredly but full of tenderness. 

“You haven’t planned anything at all yet, have you?”

Seulgi’s smile is sheepish. “I just wanted to get through asking you out first if I’m being honest.”

Joohyun rolls her eyes. “Did you think I was going to say no?”

“You never know! It’s best not to assume!”

Of course, Joohyun realizes affectionately. Leave it to Seulgi to assume the person she’s regularly sleeping with would say no to going on a date with her. She could be so dense sometimes and yet, strangely, it just made Joohyun like her even more. 

“Well, I wouldn’t have. Even if we weren’t….you know,” Joohyun gestures again and Seulgi’s smile stretches big and wide across her face, eyes curving up in that way they do when she’s particularly happy. 

“That’s good to know,” she says as Joohyun stares pointedly down at her book and away from Seulgi and all her unrestrained joy. It’s not until Seulgi nudges her gently with her foot that Joohyun looks up again, Seulgi now eying her with conviction. “I hope you’re ready. I’m going to take you on the best first date you’ve ever been on.” 

It’s not our first date, Joohyun wants to say but wisely chooses not to. Somehow, she thinks, looking at the way Seulgi’s almost bouncing up and down with energy, even having that information isn’t very comforting in the wake of Seulgi’s determination.

\---

As luck would have it, their date doesn’t happen until much later. Hit suddenly by a string of new endorsement deals and individual schedules, it’s hard to make time for anything outside of work let alone each other. In the weeks that pass, Joohyun can count on one hand the number of times she’s been alone with Seulgi, can count even lower the number of times they shared anything physical that wasn’t just a fleeting touch in passing. The result is a lot of pent up frustration and unresolved tension that has Joohyun partly considering forgoing the date altogether just so she can lock Seulgi in her room and keep her there to herself the whole night, but Seulgi had practically been buzzing with excitement the last few days, so it’s with little reluctance that Joohyun gets ready for their night out.

Joohyun knows Seulgi wanted it to be a surprise, but it’s not like Joohyun couldn’t not look when Seulgi had left her phone on the table, screen opened to the website of a place that specializes in wine tastings and art nights. Really, Seulgi should have known by now that nothing gets past Joohyun—especially plans concerning herself. But even still, Joohyun pretends to be curious when Seulgi tells her that she doesn’t have to dress up if only because the mischievous glint in Seulgi’s eyes is far too adorable.

Everything was going smoothly in Joohyun’s opinion. They’d been blessed by a gap in their schedules that actually aligned for once and—even more conveniently—with a dorm that would be empty for the next few days. Neither of them were too tired, they didn’t have anything particularly pressing weighing on their minds, and all their future career plans seemed to be going in the right direction. By all means, tonight had the makings of being a perfect night, just like Seulgi wanted. That is, of course, until Joohyun pulls apart her curtains and sees ominous looking clouds hanging low in the sky, threatening in how thick and gloomy they are. 

Well, Joohyun thinks optimistically, at least it’s not raining yet. 

Like clockwork, a loud crack of thunder sounds, jolting Joohyun badly enough that she jumps away from the window with eyes closed and a rapidly beating heart. When she opens her eyes again, rain is pouring heavily from the sky, wind is howling with intensity, and lighting flashes brightly through the sudden darkness. 

This is fine, Joohyun decides, a little rain isn’t so bad. It’ll probably stop soon anyway, and even if it didn’t, rain can be romantic. Seulgi loves when things are romantic.

On her bed, Joohyun’s phone buzzes harshly, screen lit up with a new message. 

Her heart drops.

 _Emergency alert_ , it reads, _flash flood warning in this area until 23:00. Avoid flooded areas._

\---

Seulgi is already dressed when Joohyun finds her in the living room. She looks soft in her large knit sweater and jeans with her hair styled and her makeup done. The perfect first date look if not for the frown on her face as she stares down at her phone, no doubt reading the same emergency alert that Joohyun had gotten. 

“Looks like we’re not going anywhere,” Joohyun says, sliding next to Seulgi on the couch. 

Seulgi pouts at her. “Maybe the rain will let up in a bit? It can’t be that bad, right?”

As if summoned, another crack of thunder sounds, sending Joohyun jumping behind Seulgi’s arm. Her sweater is softer to the touch, and Joohyun momentarily forgets her storm related anxiety to burrow her nose into Seulgi’s shoulder. She smells like fresh laundry and a hint of perfume. After so much time away from Seulgi, both scents are especially pleasing to Joohyun’s senses as she inhales deeply. Joohyun didn’t know you could miss something as silly as someone’s scent, and yet, here she is, realizing with no amount of humor that she missed how clean laundry smelled on Seulgi.

Seulgi pats soothingly at her knee, laughing lightly as Joohyun continues her olfactory related journey. “Or maybe it is that bad. I’m sorry, unnie. It looks like we won’t be able to have our date after all.” 

Seulgi’s disappointed tone finally brings Joohyun out of her revelry. Seulgi’s eyes are downcast, teeth working at her lip. She’s no doubt saddened by this turn of events, all her ideas of grand romantic gestures and perfect dates thwarted by something entirely out of her control. Seulgi’s always optimistic, but Joohyun knows her well enough to know that even Seulgi can fall victim to unmet expectations as well. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Joohyun nudges Seulgi gently. “We can just go out tomorrow.”

“We can.” Seulgi smiles bitterly. “It’s just that, the place I wanted to take you to is all booked tomorrow. They’re pretty popular and reservations fill up kind of fast, but that’s fine! We can do something else! I can find something else!” 

Seulgi reaches for her phone, almost frantic in her movements. Joohyun watches her for a moment, filled with an unbridled amount of affection for the girl in front of her who’s put aside her own disappointment just so that she could look for alternative date ideas. Joohyun knows the truth, though, and she knows that even if Seulgi won’t say it, she was looking forward to the plans she’d made today. 

Filled with a renewed sense of purpose, Joohyun stops Seulgi from her searching with a hand to her arm. 

“How about this,” Joohyun starts, gaining Seulgi’s attention, “we still have our date today, we just do it here.”

Seulgi’s brows pinch together. “What do you mean?”

“You wanted to go to a place that does wine tastings while we paint right? Well, I have a bottle of expensive wine I haven’t had a reason to open yet, and you have a never ending supply of art supplies. We can just do it here.”

Seulgi’s mouth drops. “How did…?”

“You, Kang Seulgi, are terrible at keeping secrets.” Joohyun presses a finger to her forehead affectionately. “I saw you looking at the website before you even made the reservation. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice? You should know by now, I always find out about surprises one way or another.”

“Unnie,” Seulgi says seriously, eyes widening in awe, “you’re amazing.” 

She looks like she wants to kiss Joohyun right there, and Joohyun feels her heart swell, equal parts triumphant and bashful.

\---

Joohyun’s not much of a wine drinker, but she knows the bottle she opens must be expensive for a reason. It’s smooth as it goes down her throat and the taste isn’t so harsh that it makes Joohyun cringe when she tries it. Seulgi agrees, lips smacking together pleasantly after she takes her first sip. 

Seulgi fortunately has all the art supplies they need, the two of them setting up a pair of mismatched easels next to each other with paper that definitely isn’t meant for the acrylics they’re about to use. There’s an ipad set up on a chair between them, displaying a random picture of a landscape Seulgi found on instagram. Music is playing softly in the background to distract from the sounds of the storm outside, and Seulgi’s even provided Joohyun with her very own apron to shield her from accidental paint splatters. 

It may not be the date Seulgi originally planned, but Joohyun finds she quite likes the setup they’ve made. She didn’t have to leave her home, there’s nobody else but them, and, more importantly, Joohyun doesn’t have to hold herself back from intermittently trading kisses over dripping paint brushes and wine stained glasses. 

“Hey, am I doing this right?” Joohyun asks, haphazardly stroking her brush across the paper in an attempt to mimic the grassy, windswept hills in the reference photo. 

Seulgi stops her own painting to lean over, chin a pleasant weight on Joohyun’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, you can do it like that. I think it looks good!”

Joohyun thinks it looks like a poor attempt at abstract art, which is only really discouraging when she remembers she was going for realism. Nonetheless, she appreciates Seulgi’s encouragement. 

“How does yours look?” Joohyun asks, pushing past Seulgi to stare at Seulgi’s work. 

Unsurprisingly, Seulgi’s art looks like a tasteful acrylic interpretation of the photo they were copying. She’s even taken the liberty of adding extra colors, using lighter shades of green and yellow to add more depth to the grass. Upon further inspection, Joohyun even sees flecks of red and brown in her tree in the background. It looks as good as Joohyun thought it would, and she can’t help her pout.

“Hey, you’re cheating!”

Seulgi’s jaw drops. “How can I cheat? This isn’t a competition; there’s nothing to cheat on.” 

Joohyun points her paintbrush at her accusingly. “You didn’t tell me I could use other colors. I’ve just been following what was in the photo.”

Seulgi’s mouth opens, then closes, seemingly at a loss for words. Finally, she sputters out, “Unnie, you can paint it anyway you like, but seriously, yours looks good!”

Joohyun narrows her eyes at her. “I don’t believe you. Help me make mine look better.”

Seulgi huffs out a disbelieving laugh but acquiesces anyway, abandoning her own easel to help Joohyun with hers. Carefully, she makes suggestions for things Joohyun can add to her painting, like some yellow in her tree or maybe adding two clouds instead of one. She only laughs slightly when Joohyun decides that her sky needs purple, and even shows Joohyun how to mix red and blue together on her palette to get the desired color. Through it all, her body is pressed closely to Joohyun’s, her sweater warm where Joohyun’s shoulder digs into it. At one point, Joohyun asks Seulgi to show her the proper way to paint the grass, and, without hesitation, Seulgi reaches around to guide Joohyun’s hand with her own, fingers placed firmly around both Joohyun’s and the brush she’s holding. 

“It’s actually not that hard,” Seulgi says, gently guiding Joohyun’s hand to make quick, short strokes across the paper. “I think it’s more about adding layers and contrast?” She laughs, the feel of it tickling Joohyun’s ear as she uses Joohyun’s hand to dip the brush back into the palette. “Honestly, I’m not too sure. I just do what feels right.”

Joohyun hums, no longer really listening because she’s too stuck on the feel of Seulgi’s palm covering the back of her hand and the heat of Seulgi’s body radiating pleasantly into Joohyun’s back. It’s been far too long since they’ve been close like this and now that they are, Joohyun finds she no longer really cares about how her painting looks. She can barely even remember why they were painting to begin with. 

“Okay, you try.” 

Seulgi steps back, releasing Joohyun’s hand, and Joohyun wants to groan because she was just getting used to having Seulgi close again. She’s about to tell Seulgi to hell with finishing their paintings, but when she turns around, Seulgi’s looking at Joohyun with excited eyes, eager to see how Joohyun performs after Seulgi’s impromptu lesson, and Joohyun sighs. Sex will have to wait. 

“Like this?” Joohyun asks expectantly, trying and failing to mimic the strokes of her brush that Seulgi had just taught her.

“Uh, yeah! That looks good!” 

“Don’t lie!” Joohyun laughs at Seulgi’s blatant fib, nudging at her with her elbow. “It’s bad, right?”

“No, really,” Seulgi reassures, grinning encouragingly. “I like it! It’s your own unique style.”

She says it so genuinely that there’s really no room for argument, and Joohyun can’t help her blush. Seulgi’s always had a way of being supportive without sacrificing honesty. She always has something nice to say, always finds the good in things when no one else can, and always looks for the positives before the negatives. It’s something that Joohyun’s always admired about Seulgi and having some of that shining optimism directed her way never fails to make Joohyun believe she can reach higher than she probably should. 

It’s probably why Joohyun thinks she can take on the struggle of adding a bird to her sky, the result nowhere near resembling a flying animal but instead just looking like a dark streak at the top of the paper with no purpose. Joohyun grimaces at it, and not even Seulgi and all her hopefulness can save it. 

“Well,” Seulgi begins, tilting her head this way and that to get a better angle, “the grass looks really good, and so does the sky! I think your idea of adding purple was a good choice.”

“And the bird?”

Seulgi smiles unsurely. “The bird is….abstract?”

Joohyun barks out a laugh, falling into Seulgi’s body unnecessarily. Seulgi catches her willingly, used to Joohyun’s inability to do anything without at least a little bit of physical contact. The resulting hug is nice and long awaited and Joohyun can’t stop herself from holding Seulgi close, appreciating the lines of Seulgi’s body against her.

“I want to frame them,” Joohyun decides, head resting against Seulgi’s shoulder as she eyes the two paintings side by side. 

“Okay.” 

“I like yours a lot too. You’re really good at painting.” 

Joohyun can feel Seulgi press her answering smile into Joohyun’s hair. 

“You can have it if you want.” 

Joohyun smirks. “Then you can have mine.”

Seulgi tenses for a brief second. “Oh. Thanks.” 

“Hey!”

Seulgi laughs, using her arms wrapped around Joohyun to pull her closer, effectively stopping Joohyun’s attack on her back. 

“I’m kidding! I’ll gladly take your painting. I like the bird.” 

Joohyun taps her finger to Seulgi’s nose, smirking as Seulgi wrinkles it in response. 

“Kang Seulgi, you’re a terrible liar.”

Seulgi beams, eyes curved in a way Joohyun thinks is disgustingly charming. “But unnie, even if I don’t like the bird I still like the painting. I like it because you made it.”

And well, what can Joohyun say to that? 

Instead, she pulls Seulgi’s face to hers, lips meeting in a kiss that’s weeks overdue. They can take their time now, none of the hurried pecks they’d trade in greetings in brief moments when they’d pass each other in the hallway, and Joohyun is determined to take advantage of it, pressing against Seulgi insistently. Seulgi’s mouth parts, and Joohyun licks into her mouth willingly, reacquainting herself with the taste of Seulgi’s lips and the familiar way she slides her tongue along Joohyun’s. Joohyun tangles her fingers through Seulgi’s hair, tilting her head for a new angle, and scratches along the base of Seulgi’s neck as Seulgi runs gentle hands up and down along Joohyun’s back. Seulgi feels so good against her, all of Joohyun’s thoughts immediately disappear, urging her to focus on Seulgi and the way she bites softly at Joohyun’s bottom lip.

It’s Seulgi who pulls away first, and Joohyun, for once, finding herself the one eagerly chasing after her. Seulgi only indulges her with one more short kiss before pulling away entirely, stepping back decidedly. 

“Night’s not over yet, unnie,” Seulgi tells her with a tiny quirk of her lips. “We still have all this wine left. Should we do another painting? Or we can make something for dinner?”

Seulgi asks all of this quite seriously, but Joohyun hears almost none of it, stuck on the way Seulgi’s lips look swollen from their kiss and the flush that sits high on Seulgi’s cheeks. Her chest heaves in an effort to find the breath Joohyun had been determined to steal from her just moments earlier, and Joohyun can’t help it but finishing their date is truly the farthest thing from her mind presently. 

“Seulgi, I don’t want to paint or cook dinner or have any more wine,” Joohyun says, already untying the apron from around her waist. 

“Oh, well then what would you like to do?”

“Seulgi,” Joohyun sighs impatiently. She doesn’t want to be rude because this really has been a lovely date—probably the best date Joohyun’s been on if she’s being honest—but it’s been weeks since she last had Seulgi in her bed and Seulgi just helped her paint and then kissed her like _that_ and now Joohyun has needs. With a bite of her lip, Joohyun asks, “Do you remember what we talked about before, when we were making our list, and I mentioned something I owned and I said I wanted to try it with you?”

Seulgi furrows her brows in thought, eyes falling to the floor as she tries to remember what it is Joohyun is thinking of. It takes her a while, but Joohyun’s patience is awarded because finally Seulgi’s eyes light up in recognition. 

She swallows, eyes glazing over. “Oh.” 

“Yeah.” Joohyun nods. “I want to do that.”

Hesitantly, Seulgi looks over at the two easels, the paint supplies littering the floor, and the bottle of wine, still mostly full, sitting on the coffee table. Then she looks back at Joohyun, their eyes meeting as Joohyun gazes at her imploringly. Coming to a decision, Seulgi nods determinedly. 

“Okay,” she decides, grabbing Joohyun’s hand and marching them to Joohyun’s bedroom. “Night is over!”

Joohyun can only laugh, following along easily, ready and eager for what’s to come.

\---

“Are you sure you don’t need some help?”

“No, I’m good!”

Joohyun smirks amusedly at the response coming from the bathroom, leaning back on her hands as she waits. She’s already naked, neither of them wasting any time once they got to Joohyun’s room, but then Seulgi had peeled away just as Joohyun’s hand had been scratching down her stomach, ignoring Joohyun’s whine to lay a soothing kiss to Joohyun’s forehead. 

“I’ll be right back,” she’d said with a small smile before disappearing into the bathroom. 

But that had been five minutes ago and now Joohyun’s only slightly worried that things might be going wrong. 

“Are you sure you’re okay in there?” Joohyun asks again and gets no response. “Seulgi?”

When her call goes unanswered for a second time, Joohyun sits up, prepared to barge into the bathroom herself. Just as she’s about to do that, the door opens and the light clicks off, Seulgi stepping out shyly. But Joohyun can’t even focus on her tentative grin, caught on the dark leather straps circling Seulgi’s waist with the thick purple dildo sticking out of it.

The dildo is Joohyun’s, given to her mostly as a gag gift from a close friend a while back. It had sat untouched for over a year before Joohyun’s loneliness finally caught up to her and she decided to put it to use one night. She didn’t use it often but she liked having the option and when Seulgi mentioned strap-on sex as something she wanted to try, Joohyun had readily agreed. She provided the dildo, Seulgi had the harness, and just earlier they decided to finally put both to use tonight. 

“So what do you think?” Seulgi asks, walking over carefully as Joohyun gulps and tries to tear her eyes away from the sight of Seulgi wearing her favorite color so intimately. 

“I think,” Joohyun answers, leaning back and spreading her legs invitingly, “you should come here.”

Seulgi does, pushing Joohyun back into the bed with an eager kiss. She slides her tongue into Joohyun’s mouth at Joohyun’s surprised gasp, body a comfortable weight on top of her. Like this, Joohyun can feel the dildo slide between her legs, rubbing against Joohyun’s clit in a way that has Joohyun moaning against Seulgi’s mouth. Pulling away, Seulgi trails her lips across Joohyun’s cheek, teeth scraping along Joohyun’s ear lobe. 

“Color?” 

“Green,” Joohyun barely manages to rasp out, intent now on the steady grind Seulgi’s started with her hips, dildo sliding pleasantly through Joohyun’s wetness. 

Moving down Joohyun’s neck, Seulgi sucks at the juncture between Joohyun’s neck and shoulder, and Joohyun can’t even be bothered to scold her for it, scratching blunt nails along Seulgi’s sides. Seulgi goes even lower, finding Joohyun’s nipple with her mouth, and Joohyun’s sure she could come from just this: Seulgi’s mouth on her, her hand buried in Joohyun’s hair, hips thrusting easily, dildo harsh between her legs. 

Naturally, it’s when Joohyun’s thinking this, her moans growing louder and longer, that Seulgi pulls away. Joohyun opens her eyes—never even realizing she closed them—and glares at Seulgi but Seulgi only smiles warily. 

“I’m sure you’re wet enough,” she says, looking between Joohyun’s legs then to the shiny dildo pointedly, “but I want to be sure.”

She reaches over to the nightstand then, picking up the bottle of lube they’d bought for this occasion specifically. Joohyun watches in fascination as Seulgi pours some directly onto the toy before adding some to her hand as well. She rubs it between her palms and then reaches down, hand jerking steadily as she smoothes the lube all over until the dildo is coated liberally. And that sight alone—of Seulgi on her knees in front of Joohyun with her hand between her legs, moving up and down the toy in one fluid motion—it’s almost too much for Joohyun to handle. 

Without thinking, Joohyun moves forward, batting Seulgi’s hand away and replacing it with her own. 

“Let me,” she whispers, eyes intently focused on her fingers as they wrap around the dildo, sliding up and down, up and down, repeatedly. 

Seulgi doesn’t say a word, and when Joohyun looks up at her, her eyes are hooded and her mouth is parted as she watches Joohyun’s movements with a sort of reverent look. 

Joohyun smirks, then asks innocently, “Maybe add a little bit more?”

Nodding dazedly, Seulgi pours more lube onto the toy until Joohyun’s hand can glide even more easily. 

“I think this should be good,” Joohyun says, voice sounding shaky even to her own ears. 

She leans back again, not relinquishing her hold on the dildo, encouraging Seulgi to follow her back onto the bed. Elbows on either side of Joohyun’s head, Seulgi gazes down at Joohyun with what Joohyun can only describe as love in her eyes. 

“You’ll—”

“I’ll tell you if it’s too much,” Joohyun interrupts with a crooked grin, and Seulgi rolls her eyes affectionately before kissing her again. 

Pulling back slightly, Joohyun uses her hand to guide the head of the dildo to her entrance, moaning at the feel of it pressing in just slightly. Seulgi looks down to watch, pushing in experimentally before pulling back out, and Joohyun groans. 

“Color?” Seulgi asks shakily, eyes meeting Joohyun’s one last time. 

Joohyun nods at her. “Green.”

Then Seulgi pushes back in, just enough for the head to slide in, and Joohyun gasps, feeling her walls pulsate around the toy already. It’s been a while since she’s had anything thicker than her or Seulgi’s fingers inside of her, and it takes her a moment to adjust. Seulgi waits patiently, ceasing her movements as Joohyun’s chest heaves up and down, the sudden stretch taking her off guard for a moment. When she feels the burn bleed away into something pleasurable, Joohyun nods at Seulgi. 

“Green.”

Seulgi moves further in, barely another inch, before sliding back out slowly. She repeats the action a few times—waiting for Joohyun’s okay every time—going further and further in with each thrust until Joohyun can feel the cool material of the leather straps against her hips. Joohyun groans, knowing Seulgi’s all the way inside now, and revels in the feel of Seulgi being deeper inside her than she’s ever been. 

Seulgi slumps forward, forehead resting against Joohyun’s as she gives Joohyun time to adjust to being filled so deeply. Their breaths mingle, Joohyun rubbing along Seulgi’s back, down to the dip in her spine before traveling back up—a thin layer of sweat already coating Seulgi’s skin. Finally, after a long moment, Joohyun exhales deeply. 

“You can move.”

Seulgi nods, kisses Joohyun briefly, and then pushes back up onto her elbows. Her hips move slowly, sliding the toy out carefully until just the tip is still inside before pushing back in quickly. Joohyun’s mouth drops open in a silent scream, Seulgi’s pace steady as she thrusts in and out with practiced movements. She feels Seulgi bury her face in her neck, licking and sucking at the skin there as her thrusts get longer and deeper. 

Seulgi is an experienced lover, Joohyun knows this. She also knows that Seulgi is especially attuned to Joohyun’s body, years of being near each other somehow giving them that extra edge when it came to sex. So it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that Seulgi knows how to use a strap-on so well. Even still, Joohyun can appreciate how Seulgi moves with ease, never faltering in her thrusts even as Joohyun scratches at her back or tugs at her hair, pulling Seulgi back up for a desperate kiss. 

“Faster,” Joohyun demands and Seulgi’s all too willing to listen, hands gentle but assertive as she grabs at Joohyun’s wrists and pins them to the bed. 

Her hips slam into Joohyun’s, dildo moving quickly in and out. Joohyun’s moans intensify, sounding loud and needy throughout the room. She’s so close, she can feel her walls clamping down onto the toy. Just a little more, just a little harder. 

“Harder,” she tells Seulgi who adjusts accordingly, the wet slap of their skin meeting too much for Joohyun who can’t help the way she calls out Seulgi’s name repeatedly, her orgasm so close now she feels almost lightheaded with pleasure.

“Don’t move,” Seulgi whispers before she releases one of Joohyun’s wrists, hand moving between their legs so she can rub at Joohyun’s clit. 

Joohyun feels the scream rip from her throat, but she doesn’t hear it through her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Her orgasm is so strong she feels like she’s having an out of body experience, aware but somehow not present to feel it as Seulgi thumbs repeatedly at her clit, thrusting continuously to help Joohyun ride out her orgasm. It’s the kind of toe-curling pleasure Joohyun didn’t think she’d ever experience in her lifetime, but here she is, feeling the full force of such a natural high. 

“Unnie, unnie,” she hears Seulgi call, bringing Joohyun back into enough awareness to feel the way Seulgi’s mouthing along her collarbones. “You’re so pretty, unnie.”

It’s only then that Joohyun realizes Seulgi is still thrusting into her, her strokes long but deep, a slow steady grind that has Joohyun—still so sensitive—already on the precipice once more. 

“Seulgi,” Joohyun moans, tilting Seulgi’s head up so that she can kiss her. 

Their tongues meet hotly, Seulgi licking into her mouth with the kind of fervor that takes Joohyun’s breath away. She’s still thumbing at Joohyun’s clit, still thrusting into Joohyun with intent, and when she uses her other hand to pinch at Joohyun’s nipple, Joohyun falls over the edge once more. It’s not as strong but just as good, and Seulgi kisses her through all of it. 

When it’s over, Seulgi brushes Joohyun’s hair aside, kissing her cheek sweetly. 

“You’re beautiful,” she tells Joohyun so nonchalantly that Joohyun blushes, feeling somehow more embarrassed by that simple compliment than at the fact that Seulgi just used a strap-on to fuck Joohyun into her mattress. 

“You’re so cheesy,” Joohyun murmurs, turning away to hide the flush in her cheeks, and Seulgi only laughs, kissing Joohyun’s cheek one more time before pulling away. 

Seulgi slides the dildo out carefully, Joohyun groaning at the sensation until the sudden emptiness has her clenching down repeatedly as if disappointed by the loss. Seulgi presses a soothing kiss to Joohyun’s hip before pushing off the bed entirely. Joohyun watches as she undoes the straps of the harness, removing it from her hips before setting it aside to clean later.

She crawls back into the bed, laying her body along Joohyun’s in the way she knows Joohyun always likes. They fit together seamlessly, Joohyun throwing a leg over Seulgi’s waist as she traces along the indents of Seulgi’s stomach. 

“How was it?” Seulgi asks after a long moment of trading slow, unhurried kisses. 

“So good,” Joohyun answers. “I’m going to be sore tomorrow.”

Seulgi beams. “It’s a good thing we’ve got a few days off then.”

Joohyun hums, hand already moving lower down Seulgi’s stomach until Seulgi stops her with a hand to her wrist. 

“You don’t have to. Just rest first.”

Joohyun frowns. “But you didn’t get to come.”

Seulgi just shakes her head, nudging Joohyun’s forehead with her own. 

“It’s fine. I can wait.” 

Joohyun doesn’t want to agree, but she _is_ exhausted after what Seulgi just put her through and she knows Seulgi knows this too. Reluctantly, she nods, laying her head back down onto Seulgi’s chest, eyes closed as she lets the rhythm of Seulgi’s heartbeat lull her to sleep. 

“Hey, Seulgi?” she calls sleepily, a few moments later. Seulgi responds with her own quiet hum. “That was the best first date I’ve ever been on.”

Seulgi pulls Joohyun closer, face buried into Joohyun’s hair as she responds, “Me too.”

Joohyun presses her smile right over Seulgi’s heart, finally letting the exhaustion take over. 

Still, she does have one last lingering thought before she falls asleep.

How soon, exactly, is too soon after the first date to tell someone you love them?


	6. a moment to remember

Joohyun is in love with Seulgi.

It’s not that Joohyun was ever really unsure of it. On most days, even, love almost feels like it’s too small of a word to carry the weight of Joohyun’s heart and how much she wants to give it whole to Seulgi’s waiting palm. But that’s what it is. There’s truly nothing else that could possibly encapsulate all the feelings that arise within Joohyun at just the sight of the other girl. In fact, if anything it feels obvious after everything, but somehow the acceptance of such a realization still makes Joohyun’s chest pound erratically.

She’s in love with Seulgi, and she wants to tell her.

It’s what Seulgi deserves, after all. Someone as warm and kind as Seulgi deserves to be told such a thing everyday. Seulgi deserves to be given as much love as she gives back, and damn it all if it’s not going to be Joohyun who gives it to her first.

So, Joohyun tries to make a plan.

It’s only fair since Seulgi technically planned their first date. Seulgi’s initiated many of the firsts since they began the official nature of their current relationship, if Joohyun’s being honest. So, really, it makes sense that Joohyun be the one to tell Seulgi she loves her first. It’s just that somehow doing so proves to be much harder than expected.

Initially, she tries to be romantic about it. Seulgi loves romance, and Joohyun loves Seulgi, so it stands to reason that Joohyun would draw forth every romantic bone in her body for the sake of wooing Seulgi the right way. It takes a little bit of strong-arming on Joohyun’s end, but eventually she comes up with something she’s sure even Seulgi would tear up at. So, she tells Seulgi to dress up in her best, hires a private driver, and whisks Seulgi away for the night of her dreams.

It starts with a candlelit dinner where Joohyun’s burned an excess amount of money to reserve a private room just for the two of them. She holds Seulgi’s hand, right there on top of the table, as they trade bites over a five course meal that cost so much even Joohyun blinked at the price when making the reservation. They drink wine from a bottle that Joohyun can’t pronounce the name of and get a little too tipsy and too bold that Seulgi doesn’t even question it when Joohyun sneaks a kiss between courses. Seulgi just slides her hand along Joohyun’s jaw and presses into her deeply until they’re both a little too breathless for a public setting, and Joohyun can taste remnants of Seulgi’s lipstick on her lips for the remainder of dinner like an added dessert.

Afterwards, they go for a walk along the Han River at Joohyun’s urging, a direct callback to all the times they’ve done this before. They stop in that spot that they always stop in—the one they found when they were trainees and needed to escape for a while that they still use even now when they both feel like they just need a break from it all—and Seulgi turns to look at Joohyun with her eyes shining and her lips quirked up in that gentle smile Joohyun can admit to dreaming about, and Joohyun knows this is it.

This is how she tells her.

Mustering up all of her courage, Joohyun breathes in deeply, looks Seulgi directly in the eyes, and opens her mouth.

“Seulgi, I—”

The grumble of Seulgi’s stomach is loud and clear in the otherwise silent night. Joohyun is struck speechless for only a second as Seulgi turns instantly red and sheepish before her.

“Sorry,” Seulgi apologizes, scratching bashfully at the side of her head. “I guess I’m still a little hungry.”

“Seulgi,” Joohyun breathes out, amused, disappointed, and disbelieving all at once—a cacophony of emotions that truly only Seulgi could cause. “We just ate a five course meal.”

“I know!” Seulgi pouts, blushing furiously now. Her voice turns small then, as she admits shyly, “But the portions were _really_ small.”

And Joohyun can’t help it, she laughs—loud and unrestrained—because of how typical Seulgi it is to ruin Joohyun’s almost confession with a still empty stomach.

“Come on,” Joohyun says, linking her arm with Seulgi’s and guiding her further down the river, “let’s go get some more food then.”

They go into one of the many convenience stores nearby, picking up instant cup ramyeon and some other snacks because now that Seulgi’s mentioned it, Joohyun’s still kind of hungry too. It feels a little bit like when they were younger as they sneak out of the store with their arms full, giggling like they’re getting away with something even though there aren’t any trainee supervisors to scold them for it afterwards. Still, they can’t quite stifle their laughter as they sit on a bench and eat in front of the river like they used to, talking about their day together like nothing about them has changed at all over the years.

Saying ‘I love you’ can wait, Joohyun thinks, as she leans her head on Seulgi’s shoulder while they both stop to appreciate the cool, night sky.

There will be other opportunities anyway, Joohyun’s sure of it.

\---

It turns out that there are, in fact, no other opportunities.

Not for lack of trying, of course. Joohyun’s certain that she’s never attempted so many romantic undertakings before in her life. It just never feels like the right time or the right moment.

Even when they’re laying in bed one day and they’re both quiet as Seulgi thumbs Joohyun’s cheek and Joohyun scratches gently at Seulgi’s hip. The mood is light, and something about Seulgi’s gaze feels more intense than normal that Joohyun just can’t look away from her—doesn’t want to even try.

By all means, it’s the perfect time to just say it, and Joohyun’s about to. She really is. Only the words get caught in Joohyun’s throat, stuck somewhere that she can’t find in her to reach for, so she doesn’t, pulling Seulgi into a heated kiss instead. The vibe feels off, Joohyun reasons, distracting herself with Seulgi’s touch as they both get lost in each other once again. There will be a better moment.

Except the vibe is always off, Joohyun learns, and if it’s not that then it’s something else.

There is always some excuse that Joohyun comes up with for why she just can’t force the words out. It’s ridiculous, honestly. Because it’s not like Joohyun’s never said it to Seulgi before or heard Seulgi say it back either. They have been building love together for as long as Joohyun can remember, so easily recalled by now that Joohyun likes to think their relationship has transcended it entirely. Even if they weren’t exchanging kisses in the dark or learning each other so intimately, there would still be love between them. A different kind of love but a love nonetheless. The kind that is felt in every action even if it’s not so easily said.

Maybe that’s why Joohyun resolves to be okay with not telling Seulgi right away. She doesn’t need to. She’s sure that Seulgi can feel it—is aware of it. Seulgi wouldn’t look at Joohyun the way she does otherwise.

Seulgi is in love with Joohyun too, Joohyun’s certain. She doesn’t need the verbal validation to understand, and she’s quite positive that Seulgi feels the same, all things considered.

Seulgi knows her arguably better than anyone anyway. Why wouldn’t she know Joohyun’s love too?

\---

“Okay, I’ve narrowed it down to two choices,” Seulgi announces when Joohyun returns from the kitchen. She hands Seulgi the tea she made for her and sets her own aside before sliding into the bed next to the other girl, toeing along Seulgi’s calf as she does. “There’s _Before Sunris_ e which I know we’ve both seen but is a classic, and _The Notebook_ which I also know we’ve both seen but is _also_ a classic.”

“So, one of your favorites or one of my favorites?” Joohyun snorts, burying her nose into Seulgi’s shoulder.

Seulgi shrugs, grin lopsided, and Joohyun’s chest feels full for no reason at all.

“You’re so transparent,” Joohyun says, teasing. “Just put _Before Sunrise_ on; I know you want to watch it again.”

Seulgi makes a strangled noise, something that sounds both affronted and excited at the same time, and puts on the movie without missing a beat. It’s mostly background noise for Joohyun who pulls out her phone to mindlessly scroll through social media. It _should_ be background noise for Seulgi, too, who’s seen this movie too many times to count by now, but whenever Joohyun chances a look at the other girl she finds Seulgi totally enraptured, completely smitten by the love blossoming on screen. It makes Joohyun pause, watching Seulgi as she watches the movie.

Seulgi furrows her brows at particular moments she doesn’t like, clenches her fingers against the blanket at other parts she finds compelling, and drops her jaw for scenes that feel just a little too heavy. Seulgi is completely fascinated by this movie she’s already seen before—even now still finding new things to be interested by—and Joohyun feels the same, utterly captivated by Seulgi and the new things she continues to learn the more she observes. Like a book that never ends, Joohyun wants to finish and read everything there is about Seulgi so she can know, while also hoping she never runs out of pages to keep turning so that the story can continue for as long as possible.

“You really like this movie,” Joohyun points out eventually once the movie is near its end, poking softly at Seulgi’s cheek where she’s subconsciously puffed it out in a pout.

“Of course! It’s so good!” Seulgi finally tears her eyes away from the screen to beam at Joohyun. Her eyes are curved, a true mark of Seulgi’s genuine happiness, and Joohyun softens at the sight of it. She leans a little into Joohyun’s side and continues, “It’s romantic, but it feels realistic at the same time, too. I like it.”

Joohyun arches a brow, scratching lightly behind Seulgi’s neck. “Falling in love with a stranger in one day is realistic?”

“But they’re not strangers by the end,” Seulgi insists. “They spend the whole day talking to each other. They get to know each other and fall for each other the more they learn. I like that.”

Joohyun hums, pulling Seulgi’s back to her front as the movie ends and the credits begin to roll down the screen. Seulgi’s words hit her more deeply than Joohyun expects, understanding what Seulgi means probably better than anyone else.

Because isn’t that how the two of them got to this point—through conversation and gentle consideration as they learned each other from the inside out? Not so romantic as to happen in a day, but there’s something to be said about the steady buildup they’ve had.

“I like that too,” Joohyun admits. And then, because Joohyun just can’t help herself, she noses into Seulgi’s hair, closes her eyes to the scent that wafts over her, and whispers, “I like learning about you.”

Seulgi tips her head back, bringing her arm around to tangle in Joohyun’s hair so that she can tilt Joohyun’s head down to look at her. Seulgi’s eyes are shining, and Joohyun feels stunned even though she’s certainly seen this look from Seulgi many times before.

“I like learning about you too,” Seulgi tells her.

Then she gives Joohyun no time to stew on that response before Joohyun’s tugged down and met halfway in the kind of toe curling kiss that has heat shooting straight down Joohyun’s body. Even if Seulgi is the one who initiated, Joohyun’s the one who coaxes Seulgi’s mouth open so she can slide her tongue inside, licking into Seulgi’s mouth with a new kind of fervor. Seulgi meets all of Joohyun’s movements eagerly, never complaining as Joohyun pushes her down to the mattress with a palm to her collarbone, even aiding Joohyun with steady hands as Joohyun moves to straddle her waist.

Joohyun kisses down Seulgi’s neck, stopping at the hollow of Seulgi’s throat so that she can suck a mark there, not stopping until she can feel Seulgi begin to writhe underneath her.

“Unnie,” Seulgi moans, clutching tightly to the back of Joohyun’s shirt.

Joohyun finally pulls away, taking in the sight of Seulgi like this. Her hair—newly dyed and lighter than usual—is fanned out against the pillow in messy tendrils. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown wide, and her lips are kiss swollen and parted. There’s a flush to Seulgi’s cheeks that extends all the way down her jaw, and Joohyun follows the sight, admiring the bruise she can see beginning to form on Seulgi’s neck before she stops on Seulgi’s chest, heaving up and down in breathlessness. Almost subconsciously, Joohyun splays her palm flat on Seulgi’s stomach, feeling as each breath Seulgi takes in and out moves against her hand.

It shouldn’t be fair for Seulgi to look so pretty in this position, and Joohyun is struck suddenly with the thought that she wants to keep her like this if she can. An image for Joohyun to remember long after this moment is over.

“Unnie?” Seulgi questions when Joohyun’s remained motionless for just a beat too long.

Her voice startles Joohyun back into reality, and Joohyun shakes her head, trying to ignore the desire she can feel building hard and fast within her long enough to at least get Seulgi’s consent for the idea that’s found its way to her.

“Seulgi,” Joohyun asks, taking a thumb to Seulgi’s bottom lip because it looks too tempting not to touch in some way, “do you trust me?”

Seulgi tilts her head, confused. “Of course.”

“Are you sure?”

Narrowing her eyes, Seulgi finally rises so that she can look Joohyun face to face. She kisses Joohyun briefly before nudging Joohyun’s forehead with her own.

“I trust you more than anyone, unnie. I always will.”

Her words strike a dangerous chord within Joohyun, but she doesn’t dwell on it, not willing to get lost in such sentiments at the moment. Not when she’s about to suggest what she’s about to suggest.

“Then can we try something new?”

Seulgi pulls away, resting back on her hands. She nods, confident even though Joohyun knows she’s probably feeling a little unsure. “Of course we can. What do you want to try?”

Joohyun doesn’t answer immediately. Instead she peels herself off Seulgi’s body to dig through her closet, finding the unassuming box she’s looking for tucked neatly away into the back. She opens it, bringing the objects inside out with her and back to her room where Seulgi is still sitting, patiently waiting.

To Seulgi’s credit, she only raises a brow at the cuffs in Joohyun’s hands, smiling slightly when Joohyun raises them up, almost shyly, to show her.

“You want to try using those?” Seulgi asks, when it’s clear Joohyun doesn’t want to say it outright.

Joohyun nods, blushing. She clears her throat then specifies, “I want to try them on _you_.”

“Oh.” Seulgi’s cheeks begin to redden, but Joohyun can see how her pupils darken once more, eyes practically glazing over as she swallows thickly. “O-Okay,” Seulgi agrees, “that would be nice.”

“Are you sure? We don’t have to,” Joohyun tries, but Seulgi’s already shaking her head.

“No!” Joohyun’s brows shoot up at the outburst, and Seulgi flushes. “I-I mean, no I want to. If you want to, that is.”

Joohyun definitely wants to so she ambles back over, settling back onto Seulgi’s lap once more with the cuffs still in her hands, waiting to be put on a willing partner.

“You’re positive?” Joohyun asks once again just to be certain.

Seulgi frames her face with her hands, bringing Joohyun in for a firm kiss before parting with a gasp from Joohyun’s lips.

“I’m positive,” she breathes against Joohyun. “Green.”

That’s all the consent Joohyun needs to throw the cuffs briefly aside, dragging Seulgi back in by the nape so that she can kiss her the way she wants to—with frantic movements and an eager tongue. Seulgi feels pliant as she lets Joohyun guide her where she wants, raising her arms so that Joohyun can lift her sweater up and over her head—her undershirt following soon after. Seulgi’s not wearing a bra, so Joohyun takes the time to knead her breasts with sure hands, feeling Seulgi’s nipples harden beneath her fingertips.

It’s only once they’re both naked, and Joohyun’s spent far too long kissing at the spot below Seulgi’s ear that Seulgi finally cards her hands through Joohyun’s hair and tugs, gently guiding Joohyun away.

“Unnie, the cuffs,” Seulgi reminds.

Joohyun resists the urge to throw the cuffs away entirely in the interest of just having Seulgi easily as she is now, but then she looks at how roughly Seulgi is breathing beneath her and knows that she’ll kick herself for it later if she lets go of this opportunity.

The cuffs are made of sturdy leather, bought impulsively one night when Joohyun was idly scrolling through the internet during a moment of restlessness. The dark purple color is what caught her eye initially, but the fleece lined on the inside was the real seller. She’d thought before about tying Seulgi up or being tied herself, but the idea of her skin chafing from the restraint was unappealing. Fleece, though, seemed comfortable, and imagining the cuffs wrapped around Seulgi’s dainty wrists was enough of a selling point for Joohyun to buy them without second thought.

Now, as Joohyun locks the cuffs around Seulgi and secures them both to the corners of the headboard, Joohyun knows she was right. There really is no other view like it. Seulgi bound and completely at Joohyun’s mercy, trusting Joohyun enough to let herself be put in such a position without worry. It has Joohyun clenching excitedly around nothing as she traces the leather material of the cuffs down to the skin of Seulgi’s arm all the way to Seulgi’s chest. She stops just above Seulgi’s heart to feel the way it's erratically beating and smiles at the flushed girl underneath her.

“You look gorgeous like this,” Joohyun tells her, admiring as Seulgi blushes shyly in response. She moves to cup Seulgi’s cheek and asks, “How’s it feel? Is it too tight?”

Seulgi shakes her head, kissing Joohyun’s palm lightly. “No, it feels nice. It’s surprisingly soft.”

“I wanted ones that wouldn’t hurt.”

“How thoughtful,” Seulgi teases as Joohyun rolls her eyes.

“Tell me if it starts to hurt or you feel uncomfortable, okay?” Joohyun reminds, trailing her hand back down to Seulgi’s chest so that she can rub at the swell of Seulgi’s breasts.

“I will,” Seulgi answers, voice beginning to shake as Joohyun continues her ministrations. “I-I trust you, unnie. Don’t worry.”

Joohyun smiles then dips down. Just before she’s about to wrap her lips around Seulgi’s nipple, Joohyun pauses, looking up at Seulgi with hooded eyes.

“Color?”

Seulgi swallows, then musters out, “Green.”

Seulgi moans loudly as soon as Joohyun descends on her. Her legs aren’t restrained, so Seulgi is free to thrash about as Joohyun sucks on one nipple than the other, rolling whichever one is unattended between her fingers. It’s almost addicting, and it’s only the vague recollection that she’s spent far longer than she should at Seulgi’s chest, that has Joohyun lifting once more to admire her work.

Seulgi looks absolutely wrecked. Joohyun can see how her hands are clenched tightly around the straps anchoring her to the headboard, eyes squeezed shut with her head thrown back. Joohyun hasn’t even touched her properly yet, and Seulgi’s already like this. Who knew Seulgi would enjoy being out of control so much?

“Still okay?” Joohyun asks, scratching gently down Seulgi’s stomach, the muscles there tensing as Joohyun does.

Seulgi hums, legs falling open as Joohyun finally reaches her clit. Joohyun traces over it carefully, briefly dipping down to gather the wetness at Seulgi’s opening before moving back up, pressing against Seulgi’s clit more insistently.

“Seulgi?” Joohyun repeats, stopping her movements. Seulgi groans and Joohyun would laugh if she didn’t find it so hot.

Now, Joohyun understands.

There’s something so intimately appealing about being responsible for another person’s pleasure this way. It’s both the trust that Seulgi has in Joohyun to take care of her properly, and the knowledge that Joohyun can take or give as much as Seulgi will allow her without complaint. It’s a heady feeling, one that Joohyun could see her getting used to.

For now, though, she needs Seulgi to tell her that she can keep going.

“Seulgi,” Joohyun says again, tone edging slightly into a demand. Seulgi blinks into focus, offering Joohyun a pout. Joohyun shakes her head at her, kissing Seulgi lightly on her hip. “I just want to know if you’re still okay.”

Seulgi sighs in pleasure as Joohyun kisses down her thigh, dangerously close to where Joohyun knows Seulgi wants her.

“I’m okay, unnie. Green.”

Getting the confirmation she needed, Joohyun moves back to Seulgi’s clit, thumbing it harshly as she rubs around Seulgi’s opening. Seulgi moans wantonly, back tensing. Joohyun pushes one finger inside her, pumping it once, twice, before carefully adding another. She finds a rhythm immediately, holding Seulgi’s hip down with her other hand so that she can move more freely. She can feel Seulgi’s legs kick out on either side of her as she grasps tightly onto the restraints around her hands, and Joohyun nearly smirks.

“God, Seulgi,” Joohyun breathes out, driving in and out of Seulgi with a practiced hand.

Joohyun looks at the purple leather around Seulgi’s wrists, the dark marks covering Seulgi’s chest, and Seulgi’s face screwed up in pleasure, and feels herself almost preen at the knowledge that this is all because of her. Seulgi’s feeling this good because of her. No one else, Just Joohyun. It makes her pump faster, adding a third finger that rips a scream from Seulgi’s throat.

“Unnie!”

Joohyun falls forward, kissing at Seulgi’s cheek, her jaw, nosing into Seulgi’s hair as she uses her hips to add more force behind her thrusts.

“You’re beautiful, Seulgi,” Joohyun whispers, delighting in the way Seulgi clenches down in response. She thumbs more roughly at Seulgi’s clit, ignoring the cramp she can feel beginning to form in her hand as she chases after Seulgi’s pleasure. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I—”

Joohyun bites her tongue, not having meant for those words to have fallen from her mouth so freely. Seulgi’s too far gone to have noticed Joohyun’s slip, but Joohyun still slides back down her body anyway, determined to make sure Seulgi would forget anything else she was about to say.

“Come for me, Seulgi,” Joohyun requests, then wraps her lips around Seulgi’s clit and sucks.

It has the desired result and soon Seulgi’s clenching repeatedly down on Joohyun’s fingers to the point that Joohyun can barely even move them. Joohyun pulls away just to watch, appreciating how Seulgi’s back is arched as much as the restraints allow, forcing a flex to Seulgi’s stomach that Joohyun can’t help but trace. Her mouth is parted in a silent scream while her eyes have yet to open from where they’ve been shut tight. Sweat is dripping down Seulgi’s temple, and the dark flush looming across Seulgi’s chest looks especially inviting.

She’s utterly beautiful, and Joohyun is so, so in love with her.

Pulling out, Joohyun climbs back up Seulgi’s body, kissing her way as she goes. When she reaches Seulgi’s mouth, Seulgi is finally coming back to and she meets Joohyun’s lips with eager movements, straining to reach up against the restraints holding her back. Joohyun just tilts Seulgi’s head herself, coaxing Seulgi’s tongue out so she can meet it with her own.

She doesn’t even realize she’s begun a steady grind along Seulgi’s thigh until she hears Seulgi groan, the telltale sound of Seulgi pulling at her restraints reaching Joohyun’s ears.

“Don’t move,” Joohyun pants, resting her forehead against Seulgi's temple as her hips begin moving more frantically along Seulgi’s thigh.

“Unnie,” Seulgi whines, doing the exact opposite of what Joohyun’s just told her as she continues to thrash her arms about. Joohyun’s just about to stop completely and cluck her tongue at Seulgi, until Seulgi rasps out, “Please, let me go. I want to touch you.”

Immediately, Joohyun’s eyes shoot open. She pushes off Seulgi to reach for the restraints, stomach churning at the thought of Seulgi’s hands on her once again. As much as she likes Seulgi like this, she likes feeling Seulgi against her even more.

Her hands are clumsy as she tries to undo the buckles around the cuffs, but she succeeds eventually and as soon as she does, she feels Seulgi’s hands everywhere. Raking through her hair, scratching down her back, pulling at Joohyun’s thighs so that Joohyun can rest higher on her lap.

“Unnie, you’re amazing,” Seulgi whispers hotly, lips tracing along Joohyun’s jaw as Seulgi’s fingers work themselves between Joohyun’s thighs.

Joohyun was already close before, so it takes almost no effort at all for Seulgi to bring her to the edge once again. With three quick pumps of her fingers, Joohyun’s already throwing her head back, moaning to the ceiling as her orgasm washes over her. Seulgi guides her through it with patient thrusts, and it feels so good, Joohyun almost forgets why she even wanted to tie her up to begin with.

But then Joohyun recalls the sight of Seulgi before, the contrasting color of her skin against the purple leather, how she writhed under Joohyun’s touch without escape, the way she’d grasped so tightly against the restraints when Joohyun finally made her come, and Joohyun understands again, clenching down roughly on Seulgi’s fingers in remembrance.

When it’s over, Joohyun slumps forward. Seulgi’s too exhausted to catch her properly and they both fall back against the bed with a short laugh. Barely able to catch their breaths, they both lay there for a long moment just taking each other in with soothing caresses and whispered sweet nothings.

Finally, when Joohyun begins to feel some semblance of normal, she reaches for Seulgi’s wrists. The skin there is a little red, the only lingering sign of what they’d just done, but Joohyun still traces over it gently anyway.

“Does it hurt?” Joohyun asks, and Seulgi shakes her head.

“I can’t even feel it.”

Joohyun hums and presses soft kisses to the marks just in case.

“How was it?”

Seulgi has enough energy to smile widely, wrapping her arms around Joohyun in a comforting hold as she kisses Joohyun’s forehead sweetly.

“It was amazing. You were amazing.”

Joohyun hides her grin in Seulgi’s neck, presses her hand to Seulgi’s heart, and feels the love emanating with every beat.

\---

Later, when they’ve both woken from a brief, unexpected nap and showered to clean themselves, Joohyun walks out of the bathroom and into her room to see Seulgi still lounging there.

She’s wearing one of Joohyun’s own shirts, and while they’re certainly no strangers to sharing each other’s clothes, there’s something about seeing the familiar material just barely covering the marks Joohyun left on Seulgi’s skin that has Joohyun pausing. Seulgi’s in the middle of scraping some leftover takeout into her mouth, almost missing entirely because she’s distracted by whatever is playing on the television, and Joohyun can feel that heavy feeling in her chest begin to bloom again.

Only this time, Joohyun lets it until it grows so large she couldn’t possibly keep it all in for herself.

“Hey, Kang Seulgi,” Joohyun calls, leaning against the bathroom doorway.

Seulgi blinks at her, answering around a chew. “Yeah?”

Joohyun can only shake her head fondly, feeling light and more relaxed than ever, nothing about the moment feeling off now to hold herself back.

“I love you.”

As expected, Seulgi isn’t surprised by the confession. She just raises her brow, swallows the rest of her food, and quirks her lips up in apparent amusement.

“I love you too, unnie,” Seulgi says, so casual like it’s nothing more than just a statement of fact.

And it is.

It’s something they’ve both known; no sweeping declarations necessary. But Joohyun still feels her chest pound with a happy sort of ache as she moves towards Seulgi, curling Seulgi’s hair behind her ear as she kisses Seulgi tenderly.

Love may be something they’ve always known—something they’ve always felt—but Joohyun knows that, without a doubt, there is still much more of Kang Seulgi for her left to learn.

And she’s more ready than she ever has been to keep doing so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well it's certainly been a while. sorry about that. this felt a little rough to write so apologies in advance if anything reads weirdly. I'd also just like to thank you all for reading and enjoying this little pet project of mine. I don't think I've ever stated it here, but this fic was born largely out of a desire to practice writing in a genre I don't normally write in. since then, it's certainly taken off in a way I didn't really expect, but it's been a treat to see nonetheless. so even while a little rough around the edges, I hope you can find some enjoyment in this story, even if all it is is little snapshots into their daily lives as they explore different aspects of their sex lives together. thank you all once again and happy reading. cheers.


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